Skipping T day

I was feeling relieved about missing out on Thanksgiving until tonight. My parents called when I was riding the subway and they miss me. Made me feel guilty for being happy about skipping the holidays this year.

The husband of the Fulbright Korea ED just passed away a couple days ago so I went to the wake tonight w/Richard and had dinner there.

After we said goodbye and I started to walk down the steps to the subway, I suddenly felt like I was hit by a huge wet sack of heavy sand. I got all depressed for no reason I could think of.

So then I lashed out at Richard via text and of course he retaliated and of course I said, SO LONG. I wish I could be a better friend than I am, but I get in the way. Maybe, in a twisted application of what Steve said a few weeks ago, it will make space for me to work on becoming a better person.

Something gave.