
Monday, January 30, 2012
"Tell me all your secrets in the next five minutes"

Sunday, January 29, 2012
Children, color, books, chilling

Books without words are very powerful.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Digging in

Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Again and again, starting over


Stefan knew more about work than I did but not, I think, much more. He was tormented by the discrepancy between his painterly ideas and his ability to execute those ideas on the canvas, and he dramatized his torment endlessly. He would crash about in the studio, smoking, cursing, throwing paint on the canvas, but not, I suspect, thinking hard about the problem before him. The knowledge that work is patient, sustained labor--no more, no less--was not wisdom he had as yet taken in very much better than I had.I get tangled up, too, with the "patient" and "sustained" parts, but every day is a chance to learn those things all over again.
Celebrate 2012 with comics!

Monday, January 23, 2012
Stinky Sunday




Sunday, January 22, 2012
(Not excited about today's) snow day!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Calls and PR
1. To submit art in the effort to raise awareness of sex trafficking, go here.
2. Who likes mail art? I love mail art. Send some to Spain if you like:
The Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (University of A Coruña), in collaboration with the Central Library of the Pontevedra Campus (University of Vigo), invites all artists, home or abroad, to take part in this Mail Art Call.
Topic: "The wounded memory: memory and oblivion"
Technical requirements:
Size: postal size 20x10 cm
Paper or any other bidimensional support
Free technique
Send by ordinary mail (no envelope required)
Maximum two proposals per artist
Deadline: April 30th 2012
Two exhibitions in 2012 at Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (University of A Coruña) and Central Library, Campus of Pontevedra (Universidade de Vigo). Virtual exhibition included.
All participants will receive confirmation. Senders must include their e-mail.
Artistic proposals will not be returned. After exhibition, all works will be permanently exhibited in large-mural format in the Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (Universidade de A Coruña).
Send your proposals to:
Biblioteca
Facultade de Ciencias da Educación
Universidade de A Coruña
Campus Elviña s/n
15071 ACoruña. Galicia. Spain.
Information and contact: memoriaeesquecemento@gmail.com
3. I got this far and then decided I don't feel like doing the PR. It's all the same stuff: I'm in a show, I'm teaching a workshop, blahblah. You can check updates here.
2. Who likes mail art? I love mail art. Send some to Spain if you like:
The Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (University of A Coruña), in collaboration with the Central Library of the Pontevedra Campus (University of Vigo), invites all artists, home or abroad, to take part in this Mail Art Call.
Topic: "The wounded memory: memory and oblivion"
Technical requirements:
Size: postal size 20x10 cm
Paper or any other bidimensional support
Free technique
Send by ordinary mail (no envelope required)
Maximum two proposals per artist
Deadline: April 30th 2012
Two exhibitions in 2012 at Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (University of A Coruña) and Central Library, Campus of Pontevedra (Universidade de Vigo). Virtual exhibition included.
All participants will receive confirmation. Senders must include their e-mail.
Artistic proposals will not be returned. After exhibition, all works will be permanently exhibited in large-mural format in the Library of the Educational Sciences Faculty (Universidade de A Coruña).
Send your proposals to:
Biblioteca
Facultade de Ciencias da Educación
Universidade de A Coruña
Campus Elviña s/n
15071 ACoruña. Galicia. Spain.
Information and contact: memoriaeesquecemento@gmail.com
3. I got this far and then decided I don't feel like doing the PR. It's all the same stuff: I'm in a show, I'm teaching a workshop, blahblah. You can check updates here.
Hesitant

Yesterday I had my first eye exam in years and was relieved to learn that everything is fine and I don't even need a new prescription. It was awful not to be able to read or use the computer or do any hand work b/c of the drops, which made me realize where most of my life occurs, between six inches and two feet in front of my face. I'm re-reading (skimming, actually) Annie Dillard's The Writing Life to soothe some of my recent panic mixed with depression about the progress of my book. I'm waiting for two edits and don't want to make changes until I see those notes, but I know there is So Much Work To Be Done. But ever since the fall, if I'm not working on that book, I feel like I am doing nothing whatsoever. I don't like that feeling.
One of my readers yesterday noted something funny. She said, "You write exactly the same way that you think!!" She said the detail was overwhelming, and a sign of mental illness if you didn't know me, yet the same trait helps me do important research. I'm relieved that my words match my brain, since I'm not sure that that is true of everyone (I assume this mismatch comes from poor writing education, which I assume comes partly from the fact that it is a very hard thing to teach). I thought about how much I have been trying to censor and edit on this blog, and how hard it is, and how it depresses me, since what comes out feels like a drugged version of what is in my head. I am the same way in my personal correspondence, and haven't figured out how to temper it. It goes like this:
Friend: "Greeting! Update. Appropriate answers to questions. Closing."
Me: "Incredibly excited greeting!!! Avalanche of personal information and updates. Followed by more TMI. And a blow-by-blow description of some random recent event that any other person would not even have noticed. Effusive closing, ten pages later."
Okay, that is slightly exaggerated. But I always feel guilty whenever I press send, and worry afterwards about how this friend will likely not want to be my friend anymore. But when I try to edit out most of it, it sounds like me, drugged. I still haven't figured it out with my closest confidantes, but I will have to figure it out soon with this manuscript.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Nice to assuage not nice


But who cares, b/c I get to visit Sri today!! I anticipate a whole new world that will remind me which one I prefer to inhabit.
Invisible hands



Thursday, January 12, 2012
Two more that I like
Definitions of Lakota words:
-When a man rides through water and gets wet in spite of lifting his legs.
-To rest one's mind by walking around after hard work.
-When a man rides through water and gets wet in spite of lifting his legs.
-To rest one's mind by walking around after hard work.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
These times that were those times

Last weekend, I watched "Who Does She Think She Is?", a film about women who struggle with the balance between being artists and having a family (plus all of the other crap that women are expected to do). The documentary itself is not a great piece of filmmaking, but the message is clear. It reminded me of being in contemporary art history class years ago. Even then, the Guerrilla Girls seemed dated. But now I realize that nothing has changed. Or at least, very little. Maybe a percentage point here or there. Which then reminded me of a friend who admired my NOT being part of the Art World. And then I read Ronnie's recent post, which made me even more sad. It's hard for me to articulate, but I will try.
I can count on one hand the options given to art students for a viable career in their field. And most of them are completely out of reach for most students. So how do you opt out of a system that you already bought into? When I was a grad student, I read an article in the journal of the College Art Association where an established (male) artist talked about how ridiculous it was that art students are not taught that there is so much more out in the world besides the Professorship or Blockbuster Fame. Art is not the only field guilty of this disservice to their students (since a Ph.D is no guarantee of an academic job), but it's the one I know. I recently helped a friend with a cover letter and was shocked. This friend received an MFA from one of the most prestigious programs in the country, covered in ivy, but was unable to compose an acceptable cover letter. Later, I tried to recall when and where I learned how to write cover letters. I remember toiling over them for countless job applications, but don't remember who taught me. Do students even learn how to write a business letter anymore? [I definitely remember learning that in secondary school.]
After I finished grad school, a former classmate asked to see my artist CV, since she had no idea how to put one together, having only written job resumes. I was horrified, thinking, "Didn't we just get master's degrees in art?" but then realized there was no coursework that covered this basic skill. I only learned how to write a CV after working in an arts organization where I saw hundreds of them on a regular basis. So there's the gamut: my alma mater, ranked something like 600-something, and then my friend's, ranked number one or thereabouts. Are doctors and lawyers and businesspeople sent out into the world after completing a very expensive education without any basic survival skills or knowledge of how to build their careers? Doubtful.
I'm now actually way off point. What I meant to say is that what Ronnie discusses, in terms of her life, seems actually to be meaningful goals that people used to value. But now the sane, grounded people have been sent away to the periphery, told they are not useful, valuable, or good enough at maintaining the status quo. That kind of constant criticism of your worth really gets to you, and then if you are a woman on top of it, good luck coming out the other side. Women apparently only start to feel good about themselves by the time they reach their early fifties.
All of this to say, that's why I live this strange, easy-to-criticize life. I opt out when I can, manipulate the system as best I can to suit my needs since I'd otherwise be mowed down, and try to stay sane and ethical by connections to those who live out in the boonies, respect their place in nature (as well as the place of water, soil, critters, and the like), and take good care of their dogs. Well, there are other people who also keep me afloat, wonderful and compassionate people who live in the city or don't have pets. Thanks to you all.
Monday, January 09, 2012
A definition
for a Lakota word, one of my favorites from Eugene Buechel's dictionary as mentioned in On the Rez:
To consider something hard work but it is not.
To consider something hard work but it is not.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
One mountain after another

I finished up another edit of my book, which I will print tomorrow to deliver to my most say-it-like-it-is readers: my sister. She's a fantastic film editor, and I think that experience has helped her get good at editing in general. Yesterday, I had my first physical in a long, long time. I left with my sore arm from a booster, feeling relieved and excited to be back in the fold of privilege. I still haven't gotten used to having health insurance, and feel often as if it will be taken away from me at any minute. But for now, wohoo!
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Questions arise today

Why am I so scared of machines? [Portable tools are great, but things with lots of moving parts and an outside energy source...]
Is weight gain mandatory over the holidays?
Why do men speak so witheringly about step machines? Especially after wiping out the electricity on one side of a room?
How did Buddhist sutras come to have such pretty names (like Flower Garland, Pure Light, and Diamond)?
Do people know that they will die after surgery before they go in? Today someone gave a nurse a terrified look before he went under. I hope he's found some peace.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Bright, wind, cold


Hm. I read the contract in the beginning where they explain which terms will mean what for the rest of the 70-something pages, but there wasn't anything equating a live banker to one on the phone. Also, how does anyone "see" someone on the telephone? Anyhow, I did my bit to educate him about how biased arbitration is (in favor of the Big Bank), and then came home to leap through the phone hoops. It's not as much action as I wish I could make, but it was something. Now that I've gathered the momentum to take action, and am tired of compiling my book's bibliography, I'll attempt that walk again.
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