Scrubbed down

[I love nighttime fires. My teacher worked two nights in a row building a new cooking station.] I took a wee nap b/c the business of sorting out my sordid past has been snatching some sorely-needed sleep time [omg I did NOT mean to alliterate that much]. I woke up today feeling stir crazy and grimy, so I rushed out the door on a mission: the baths + a haircut. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I never sauna alone since public bathing to me is a communal thing and a ritual that I always do w/my mother or friends. But I wanted to be fresh and shiny after everything I've been through. It was my first scrub by a completely naked worker. I was laying there thinking about how much I will miss affordable scrubdowns. But I won't miss feeling guilty about how cheap it is. After being born anew, I walked into the adjacent hair salon for a cut. The hairdresser was my mother's when she lived in Korea about ten years ago, so she's really good to me. She even insisted that I stay and eat lunch.

[Bungee jump off the main drag on the way to the mill.] I'm constantly surrounded by people, both close family/friends and strangers, who INSIST on feeding me. They are always crazy concerned about me eating well, a lot, and on time. It's completely counter to the culture I come from. I told the hairdresser that I felt badly for eating so much food and she said, "NO! I feel at peace now that I've fed you." I don't think I look particularly starving, but I suppose I have always attracted people who enjoy feeding me. Granted they are all women, which is a whole other study.

After seeing JL for a bit, I headed home to deal with the video. I had my sister look at it and she gave advice that made me groan. LOTS more cutting to do. No wonder it's called a rough assembly. But it was encouraging: she said that my camerawork has gotten way better, to the point that it looks professionally shot. GLORY BE!! I never thought the day would come. I had always considered myself a disaster behind the camera, any camera. But I made a concentrated effort to get better (secretly) and it's paying off. The biggest step was getting over the "I suck" mentality that came from being in 5th grade and being picked to be in the photography class, which was only for good art students, and then being bad at it. My art teacher was highly disappointed with me, which of course spells sheer horror for me. Disappointing teachers is my worst nightmare.

My sister had another terrifying suggestion: to make a doc on Korean papermaking. AAAGH! For now, I just have to get through this pot of tea and tackle these edits.