Suddenly bereft

Ah, this old feeling. It started raining today. Really hard. Plus wind. I was soaked for most of the evening. I realized while watching all these performances that it must be b/c Korea knew Michael was leaving today. So we're all in mourning.

He had told me last night that Kim Baek-ki had broken his leg and hip and had surgery on his spine after an injury sustained while performing at the cherry blossom festival a week and a half ago. I was shocked and planned to visit him at the hospital today, but when I called, he said he was leaving (against doctor's orders) and would be at his performance group's fundraising party tonight for their upcoming European tour. He's a big fan of Estonia, which is one of their performance sites, and thinks that it is where performance is at right now.

At that point, I couldn't say no. I mean, I was just tired and cranky from the rain. But this man is broken in several places (and still danced like a crazy person)!! So I went for a bit. I slipped out during the break where they provided free smokes. I got to see a mime, two belly dancers, Dulsori, a modern dancer w/Father Time of sorts, a singer, and a guitarist. It made me think a LOT about performance, and its role, and how/if I fit into it. And how it changes in relation to other history, and how it changes as the performer ages.

I had one of those Korean tutoring sessions where I forced my teacher to be my therapist by not bringing any homework at all or even a textbook. I did talk about all the fun things I learned from the exam I took yesterday (that was more interesting than trying to get the answers right), like how to treat dry cleaned clothing, why tap water smells weird, and how you will always love your hometown. She said I needed to focus myself for my last two months and asked, "are you an artist or are you a professor?" Sharp! We talked about how research can be endless if you don't set parameters, about what I can gain inspiration from, and how to seek those things.

But for right now, I am just sad. I miss the two men I met and came to love who are now on different continents. So I think I will treat myself to sleeping in tomorrow morning instead of trying to squeeze in a dental appointment.