Maybe Velma was right about dying

After meeting w/a teacher, her disciple, and my aunt today for late morning / lunch / coffee (yes, again. But it was watery and I only had a little before bolting), I went back for another round of dyeing. Today was something I don't have an English translation for yet, but it makes things red and purple.

There were two other students there, excited about the process. It's nice to be reminded through other people's joy of how satisfying it is to work by hand and love the results. I was feeling worn down b/c another teacher called me three times today to insist that I come see him at the hospital (his wife is there postop) this weekend, either by canceling my other dates or by coming late at night, to a place FAR from my home. I think that people forget that I am a student, and a human being with a rather weak liver (meaning I tire easily), rather than a mechanized disciple.

I've been thinking a lot about what Melissa blogged about recently in regards to the banking concept of education. I feel like this is how it works here It's hard to participate in a system I don't believe in, and even if I did, at this point I would have to cry out, "I am not a big enough vessel!!" When the teacher thinks that I am expressly here to master a craft at the expense of my health and stay motionless under his foot for the next several months, all I want to do is run.

A few days back, Velma had emailed asking about how dyeing was going, but the "e" had slipped out and I wondered what she was referring to, b/c I hadn't been thinking about dying. But now I wonder if this will be the last straw before something gives. I pray for no nasty fights, but I have a feeling that there are going to be some major disappointments that I will have to dole out soon.

Speaking of dying, I just found out that my very first boss at my very first salaried job just passed. And so it begins.