I am recognizing my pattern of constantly saying to myself, "once you get this done, then you'll be home free." Every big application, every time I finish one obligation, every time I do anything! I need to figure out a different way to see things b/c there's never any end to it. I just talked to the 2nd person to arrive here in my Fulbright cohort and was having a hard time speaking English. It's weird, b/c when I talk to Audrey or Kelsey or other Americans that I've met in my language program, I'm fine. Now that my homework is done and my bank statements reconciled, I'm realizing that my neck has gone into spasm again. GREAT.I'm pushing a little too hard lately. But I just can't get it all done and get 8.5 hours of sleep at night (that's my optimal amount). So getting along on 5-6 hours plus dozing on public transportation is all I get. Today was a long haul, going back to Gangnam to meet Na Rae Kim. I ended up riding home w/her photographer on the subway. They both are CHOCK full of info and leads and are super willing to help me out, but it gets to be overload on top of all the other leads I'm working on. Plus, final exams are coming up for school! AGH.
Today's gem: teaching Na Rae and her assistant how to tip in a photo w/o glue. And being asked by her photog about handsewn endbands. I'm kicking myself hard for not taking my notes from Melissa's classes to Korea.
2 comments:
maybe you're a workaholic sometimes? maybe finding a way to rest might help it feel like your are done for a while? you are also changing places and projects frequently it seems like everything is only a week or a few or a year rather than staying and doing one thing for a while. but you are on your way up into things as being an aritist and until you can pay someone else to help you are apply for things for you i guess that is the system. maybe there is a different system or this system could be only a part time part of your life. if you didn't have applicaitosns to do what would you do? maybe all of the never getting anythign done is hiding something underneath... wondering what that would be???? somethign unconsious that's for sure. gosh they run fast in the olympics. try running and kicking your butt at the same time. craziness! love you applicaitons all the time or not. :)
Hmmmm. I can only repeat advice constantly given to me, which I have still only half-absorbed: "There are only twenty-four hours in a day".
Half-absorbing means I can now readily soothe myself with that to prevent too much kicking of my own butt, but I confess that I have never truly been able to suppress the huge appetite for The Next Possible Great Things.
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