Landslide

Yikes. Just when I was feeling like I was getting a handle on my workload, I get buried in work. My lesson today was good, but I got double the info b/c I challenged my teacher (we had a plan for the 2nd piece and I found out today that the plan had changed and I disapproved. But after he convinced me that the new plan was better, he then showed me how to make the piece we were supposed to do. Agh! Too many trade secrets all at once!). Now I have notes from meeting the hanji artist yesterday and today's notes, none of them transcribed into my computer yet. Yeeeee.

I went to see family friends tonight and got a lecture about boiling my water and how it will help me find a husband. I think that that, on top of a long commute home, is going to seal the deal: no more work tonight. Tomorrow will be my 100% admin day, when I marvel at my skills at being my own personal assistant.

"To enjoy fully"

I learned the word for that today in my last Korean session before the national proficiency test (in two weeks; but I will miss next week b/c I will be on an island in a conference). I've already forgotten the word, but my teacher taught it to me to say, "don't worry about how much/little time you have left in Korea, just enjoy it." I had been telling her that I finally feel like I'm in a good place, acclimated, and love my life here. It really is once in a lifetime, at least for now, and I was sad about how soon it has to end just as I've gotten to the point where I can run errands just as quickly as I could back home (today I hit the post office and bank before class and overestimated how long it would take).

Thank goodness I finished my cords early! My teacher called me tonight to change our lesson to tomorrow! Which is good timing, b/c it will give me two "free" days in a row to prep for my lectures.

Tonight, along with Michael, Dongjae, and Ji Min, I met another hanji artist who is a professor at Sangmyung University. She was fantastic: smart, funny, sharp, no nonsense, generous. We will accompany her in a couple of weeks to an opening of a show that she is in. Afterwards, we debriefed at Mister Donut, now that Michael has gotten me hooked into the craving.

Today, I talked to Ching-In for the first time in ten months (has it really been that long?!), which was such a comfort. She's taking a creative writing pedagogy class, and they had a great assignment: to be the worst workshop leader ever. She did things like email one person in the class badmouthing everyone else and "accidentally" cc-ing the rest of the class, then sent another email to say, "oh, disregard that last message." She also wrote the worst syllabus ever, and I'm pretty sure it was all submitted last minute to the students, too. I LOVE this idea.

Self-confidence and humility, an addendum

p.s. - I got a great email from Frank about how we need to have the self-confidence to endure criticism and the humility to listen, to be able to have true dialogue. So that is the new thing on my mind, as I share these extra photos:

Kelsey took this last weekend over noodles (the ones in the foreground are HERS, lest you think that I was eating that much by myself. Though, now that I consider it, I totally could have done that; I'm a noodle nut).

And this is a detail of all the hard hours and sweaty hands. Now I have no excuse to avoid my other work.

The look of labor

Julie shocked me today when she told me that her home (where she lives w/her parents) has no signs of a sewing machine. I didn't realize it was ridiculous to assume that every household has one. This one was in a cafe where all the chairs are different from each other. We left once someone started smoking inside.

It was SO nice to catch up with Julie and pig out over an overly cheese-y yet delicious lunch. I didn't realize that I had seen her on the very day I met the person who has become my current pre-bf. So it was pure hilarity to get her up to speed, b/c I certainly did not think that highly of him before meeting him. She also pleased me immensely with these pieces that she's been making by hand that I adore.

Meanwhile, the one task on my to do list that I didn't do yesterday is still untouched, BUT! I finished spinning!! At least, I finished all the paper I cut down. Which means I did 305 cords this weekend. Now that I'm not spinning so tightly, it goes faster and doesn't hurt my hands as much, though my forearms are still sore. I am ready for a new piece! And a couple days ahead of schedule. Hooray. [These are 611 2-ply cords, somewhere in the vicinity of 200 1-ply undone cords, and all of the trims off of my pee pot cords undone.]

Being taken care of

I went to my dyeing class after a week away and felt guilty b/c I won't go back for another week (unless there is some miraculous opening in my schedule). My teacher and his wife are so good to me and so incredibly generous. They feed me amazing lunches when I go and love that I eat so much. Or, that I can, and that I enjoy their food. She packed up some homemade white kimchee for me to take home today.

It's excellent timing, since I've been trying to take better care of myself. It's only been about 30 hours, so no guarantee that it will stick, but I've managed to fit in an hour of core yoga, qi gong, meditation, getting fresh produce and cooking, and taking the time to prioritize my workload and then just DOING it. I've gotten through about 100 cords spun today while watching endless TEDTalks (ranging from military robots to skeletal muscle and cancer to castrating lambs). My dream is to have the ENTIRE batch that I cut down done by tomorrow night. Probably a stretch, but I'm going to try. Even though I have over 300 ready for my Wed class and only need 200 to start my next project.

Today's dye was cochineal. Hooray! Gorgeous stuff. I also managed to do almost everything on my to do list (the one item I didn't do is the one I've been putting off for months now). I talked briefly with my sister about an alumna lecture she went to by a Wellesley prof, and loved the research. It's about defensive pessimism, and I totally fit the bill by her standards (I took the quiz). So it makes me feel better about my anxiety and coping mechanisms. Funny timing, too, since I was just trying to switch gears and change my tactics for this month. Not that I won't make the changes, but it's good to have more information on what's really going on in my very busy head.

Piece #1 is done

Today's class was only four hours, which was such a treat. I got to do a grocery run and get home before sundown! Amazing. We finally finished the lid of the chamber pot, and my teacher's wife prepped sticky rice paste to do the first sealing coat. I left it there so that my teacher can keep handling it to make sure it is shaped properly and dries right.

Before class, Ben gave me an excellent evaluation of my current situation as a neurotic, extremist drama queen. Now that I can actually see things as they are rather than the insanity that I inflate them to be, I'm less freaked out about getting my work done. I just have to put the ducks into the right order, and then do my work. So, time to work!

Testosterone Central

As part of my campaign to avoid my work, I agreed to help translate for a student workshop and concert at KNUA, where a New Zealand percussion group came to teach and perform. I basically roamed around on stage taking pictures and holding a mic under my arm instead of using it while translating. Good times. There were things like this foot pedal all over the stage and I thought I was going to pass out from percussion gear overload.

It turned out that the students were first-semester music undergrads, which would account for how cute they were. It's always fun to see the new crop at music school; trying to predict who will "make it" always keeps you occupied. The auditorium was cozy; it was a shame that there weren't more people to enjoy the show (though one of the people was an actor on a popular Korean drama here; we chatted over the weird pizza lunch with bananas and muffins for dessert). But STRIKE will be performing all weekend at COEX for part of a big New Zealand event here in Seoul, so for any fans of high-energy pyrotechnic drumming, check it out!

Though it was a big time and energy suck, it was worth it to be around so many members of the opposite sex. Upon arrival, I walked into the percussion studio with Melissa, and almost fell over b/c I walked into a wall of testosterone. Going to the stage after that was like getting an even stronger dose since it was men + equipment. I enjoyed myself immensely. I had plans to go to the bath house afterwards, but was so spent that I just headed home for a nap and laundry before seeing Katherine and Kelsey for dinner, who can now confirm my inability to talk about anything but boys lately. I can't guarantee when I'll get some serious work done, but I'm thinking maybe this weekend.

What really matters

It took a while, but I have figured out that a sweet disposition trumps impeccable grammar. Especially since I can't be one to be judgmental about grammar since mine is good but not outrageously fantastic. I drew this on Monday at Table while Michael and his colleagues were hashing out business. I couldn't stay engaged, and was unable to focus on my Korean homework, so I played w/his fancy markers instead. At one point, one of the women was like, "what are you doing??" I thought it was pretty obvious what I was doing, so I didn't have a verbal response for her.

Today was hard; I had no desire to get out of bed, which is uncharacteristic of me. I even dragged my computer to my bed to start my day and only rolled out b/c I got an email that told me not to get suckered into thinking that spring malaise in Korea is a good excuse to spend the next three months in bed. Funny thing is that my hanji teacher and I separately made the same excuse today to our jiseung teacher! We're like flip sides of the same student. We're not the best students, but at least we're fun.

Today was grueling: 8 hours of class, but the lid is ALMOST done. I go back on Friday to finish it (more like, to watch my teacher finish it). His wife was away, so I got comic relief by listening to my teachers in the kitchen fight over how many noodles to put into the pot and how to make dinner. In that sense, I'm thankful that I'm useless in Korean kitchens, so that I could just stay on the floor and weave while the men were lost w/o a woman to cook.

I've been having interesting conversations lately with people who have known me for a little while now in Korea, and they've been impressed by how well I've adjusted and how much better my language skills have gotten (they always like to recount how much they had to dumb down for me when we first met). They're also always impressed by how well I take to Korean food. Which is kind of weird to me, since I've had mainly Korean food for my whole lifetime. But it does make me sad to think that when I leave, it won't be as easy to get. What IS nice, though: realizing that I am more and more at home here. That makes me happy.

"You're wearing a size too small"

I tried to see two exhibits today but was only able to find one of the galleries. I got close to the other one, but it was so cold and I was so sleepy that I gave up quickly and rushed home instead, desperate for a nap. This is a piece by Jihyun Lee called "009FE2401 Dreaming Books" and the medium is "Books - Pluck off."

This was on the same floor as the one before, at Gallery Hyundai. The exhibit title is translated badly, to "Great Hands," but you get the idea. The pieces were quite typical of Korean contemporary art, in that they are composed of a nearly unfathomable sum of tiny parts, and wildly labor intensive. This one is a detail of what looks like traditional landscape paintings, but are actually pen and rubber stamps on mulberry paper, by Seungho Yoo. Of course I loved them b/c they're all language - Korean characters that create images.

I was supposed to meet with a professor leading a government-funded hanji project today, but he wasn't able to make the date, so I had lunch and tea with B.K. Kim from FIDES, and got a lot of good information. It was sad info, but important to know, about the current state of hanji and its makers.

After my nap, I somehow managed to get myself out the door to meet Stephanie for dinner. We had Korean comfort food (rice porridge) and then gorged ourselves on a waffle/ice cream dessert. She and I are the only Fulbrighters crazy enough to have signed up for the Korean language proficiency test in a few weeks, but I guess it would make sense; we were talking about the hotness level of people based on their grasp of grammar. She also told me that in Korea, there's no spring fever, but more of a spring malaise. This helps me understand my current slump. But at least small things still excite me: I got new mechanical pencils today so that I can use my new 0.7mm colored lead.

Boys and girls

I took a bus straight to my Korean class this morning (at a different location than usual) but of course got off and started walking in the wrong direction, figured it out a while later and called my teacher to let her know I was running late, grabbed a citron tea at GS25, almost got hit by a car rolling backwards on a hill, dropped my beverage and scraped my hand leaning down to get it on a cement wall (the last few incidents complete w/commentary by Koreans walking behind me), and then RAN to class w/a bleeding hand. But at least I'm making headway on my practice tests, and I got to see a girl I have a huge crush on. Michael had class at the same time, so he waited until I got out and we pushed up our meeting time a few hours so that he could hit the gym and then we could meet for lunch.

It was YUM and then we hit a cafe to meet his colleagues for Korea Uncovered, which was a huge mess of books, DVDs, his ubiquitous iBook, sketches, my Korean homework, drawings, cookies, iced mochas, library research, and ambitious talk of huge waterproof paper structures. I was distracted most of the afternoon and evening (we eventually gravitated to the same restaurant for dinner, but it was completely different from lunchtime) b/c I realized that I am one day away from Hell Month and not as prepared as I had hoped. Also, I am quite consumed by an overseas romance that blazed up unexpectedly, which has alternately focused and distracted me. All in all, I am still thankful for all the goodies that have been strewn along my path lately, and just have to kick myself back into better time management. I know it's possible, but then I read depress-o things like the demise of small farms in Japan, similar to what is going on here.

My hope is that since my week is booked solid, it will force me to become more efficient. And by definition, since I am an artist, I must still have some hope left.

Applications are boring

I still have yet to figure out the English translation for this dye (which makes a luscious red), but I was excited to use it again today, this time in conjunction with gardenia seeds (which make a deep yellow). My teacher had me tie dye, which I kind of hate, so my orange scarf is all weird looking.

But I dyed four big sheets of hanji, which was satisfying. Now I have a respectable pile, respectable enough for me not to freak out for the rest of the week as I turn my focus to slide shows, video editing, writing, weaving lids, appointments, and Korean language study. To avoid all of that, I'm working on a few applications, but they are so tedious that I find myself drowsy and leaning towards my bed like a green plant to the sun.

Indigo!

Finally. Though I did a pretty shoddy job dyeing my paper samples today, at least the silk came out nicely. This is a silk scarf and cotton pouches in vinegar water.

The green one is indigo, then dyed with cassia seeds. I went to the bookstore afterwards and was finally able to use the computers on my own to search for an art history text but it wasn't there. Then I looked at Chinese character books and almost got a couple but then realized that if I can't even keep up on my workload now, no need to add things that I will just not do.

One more dyeing lesson tomorrow, and then I'm going to take the week off from colors since come Monday, I will have less than two weeks before I fly to the big island to present and do more research.

NASA hanji

Back to the dyebaths today: cassia seeds. I started to dye big sheets of paper, too. I figured, why just do tiny test sheets when I can do huge test sheets? Tonight before the Fulbright Forum, I scoped out the conference room quickly and it looks like rigging is going to be a challenge. Good thing I have a whole day before to install.

I talked briefly with two other researchers about how I'm presenting twice in the same month and both said it would likely be fine to just do the same thing, instead of trying to make two completely different talks. This is kind of a relief, because the outline I did for the shorter talk is actually really solid, whereas the outline for the longer talk is kind of all over the place. So...back to the drawing board. Literally, since I am in the midst of drawing diagrams of papermaking equipment. I'm missing some basic measurements while having very obscure ones in great detail. I always miss the simple things.

I got to talk to Ken tonight at the reception, who has been incredibly helpful ever since before I left the US. His wife and sister have also been indispensable in my research, but I see them so rarely, so it was nice to see him. We will be leaving Korea around the same time, only he has been here about 30x longer than me. I was able to catch tea and a few donuts with Michael and meet his colleague Chorok tonight, which is always a treat. The best part of the day was picking up the book that Frank left in my mailbox. Not only was there info on hanji being used in NASA-funded research for protective clothing and hopefully later for robots for space probes, but there was some info on hanji in speaker systems, which I had been trying to track down!! As much as I try to steer clear of recording engineering, it looks like I have to get acquainted with the whole tweeter, mid-range driver, woofer, and subwoofer talk. Yikes.