Leiden Day 1

Because I was traveling from a different city than my family, I decided to take a couple extra days before the family trip to Amsterdam and chose Leiden as a very manageable, low-key place to stay. I arrived early in the morning to Schipol, took the train 20 minutes to Leiden Centraal, stowed my bags at the hotel, and walked into the morning. It was Saturday so I knew I'd be able to see the market.

I wasn't ready for interaction yet so I didn't buy anything (it would have been a great idea to get food for the rest of the day but I didn't want to carry it) but saw the requisite baked goods, asparagus being peeled quickly in a glass box machine, and flowers.

The main place I wanted to visit was the botanical garden but had to wait a bit here for it to open, where I discovered that my compression socks from the plane had drifted like giant blossoms at my ankles, so I gladly took them off.

The area also has a museum of Japanese things that Philipp Franz von Siebold had brought back from his long stay and fascination with Japanese flora, fauna, and culture. I didn't go to that museum but his presence is in the gardens, for sure. This Basho poem is one of many poems painted onto the sides of buildings in this university town, and a translation that a friend found for me is: Above the rough seas / stretching herself out over Sado Island— / The Milky Way.

A bust of Siebold is behind this little structure in the Hortus Botanicus, the oldest botanical garden in the country, in the Japanese section.

These are jars in the Chinese herb section. I don't know enough about the vast Dutch history of colonization in east Asia to speak to all of this in an informed way, but absolutely this currently tiny country did a lot of questionable to terrible things to have all of these riches now (not just plants, but EVERYTHING).

Because it was a bit cool and damp before the gardens opened, I had a light breakfast in their café attached to the entry glasshouse, where they have the carnivorous plants upstairs.

There were rows and rows on a catwalk high above that made me think, maybe I do have a bit of a fear of heights that is getting worse with age, and held things like this with sticky droplets to capture prey.

I walked outside and then into the tropical greenhouses, which were full of all kinds of plants, a bit overwhelming, but on the way downstairs from another catwalk and flowering canopy, I saw this sign. Isn't this in the family of the plant whose tubers give us konjac?

There were several different species of Amorphophallus and the most distinctive part was their spotted trunks.

Outside I enjoyed the fencing/terracing that made clever use of felled trees. They cut them up and stake them and there is your border!

After that, I just improvised what I'd see. First I walked down the nearby canal to visit Rembrandt's birthplace.

Which had a view of this windmill.

The original house was torn down so they had an artist make this public art of a child looking at a painting, and a crude portrait of Rembrandt hangs on the nearest building.

I was extremely tired by this point because of the jet lag and lack of sleep, but I figured out the next best place would be the Museum De Lakenhal. First, I lunched in the café where they had the most beautiful, fresh, and giant salad that I had to ask to wrap up, it was even too much for me (they don't have takeout containers so they improvised with foil and plastic wrap). I also loved that fresh ginger tea is a thing here, wonderful to get chunks of ginger in hot water. Anyhow, this museum gives great context for Leiden as a major textile center. These are stamps that would make the lead seals attached to bolts of fabric that were inspected before they could be sold.

The old building was built in 1640 as the cloth hall for the famous cloth produced in this city. The museum shows all aspects of this industry, aside from old master paintings, and downstairs had a contemporary project that explained all of the steps of making woolen fabrics from shearing to finishing.

An old loom, of course! Right past it was a giant contemporary metal art piece of a figure pulling warp from a loom, SO much wire and metal, must have been a bear to construct.

I'll let the tag below explain this lovely cloth:

There are little rooms off of rooms after rooms, and this one was wallpapered with this wrought leather, a huge amount of work, and made to give the effect of gilding.

I wouldn't have realized what it was if I hadn't read the tag and it reminded me of the Japanese paper versions that they made to mimic this (a sample hangs in my office right now, a better sight than my computer!).

These old sample books of fabrics are encased in this room as well. While it would be nice to be able to page through them, they already look like contemporary book art.

Another room had the giant table where they used to measure and cut fabric. What I haven't shown are all the old paintings of the dudes who were in charge of this industry and got rich from it. They are EVERYWHERE.

Each length (supposedly the length of a man's arm) was marked on the table. After this visit, I had no more energy to do anything but get back to the hotel and wait for check-in. Requisite shower, nap, and then walking through a construction area to get some pizza, fully intending to have leftovers for breakfast!

Hortus Botanicus

Museum De Lakenhal

Return, loss, seeding anew

This was one of the first pictures I took after landing in the Netherlands, riding to Leiden, finding my hotel and dumping luggage, and walking into quiet morning mist when every touristy thing was closed. I could finally breathe, smile, and appreciate ducks in a canal. I've pulled back from blogging, e-blasts, the like, to divert energy to mundane things that include studio work, housework, family time, and caregiving. I am also feeling life shifts, like where do I actually want to put my energy as opposed to what I "should" do for my "career." And body shifts, because I simply can't do as much I could (aka, no more overload!).

I'll post separately about my vacation, the first time in maybe forever that I was separated for a week from my computer (my main means of admin as I hate using a phone for that type of work). It felt great! But then I came home to be shocked by the terrible news that pneumonia recently killed Chandler O'Leary. I don't think I've ever been so unprepared for loss; I first thought it was a cruel joke when I saw the listserv post that combined her name and "passing." I can't remember exactly when we met, maybe 10 years ago? While we were not close, she had a way of making everyone feel completely included and wonderful and present. She was the first to tell me about RISD's Nature Lab, and always generous with her time and advice in emails that ranged from "what kind of DSLR do you have" to "how do you deal with admin without help??" Her holiday cards were a buoy in the madness of the season—brilliant, beautiful, and festive in a genuine way. I followed her blog and have been a huge fan of her collaboration with Jessica for years, which I own in different iterations and use consistently in the classroom. Her public art was thoughtful, effective, and different from the usual, and the pace with which she made unique trade books astonishing. It is devastating to have to accept that she is now herself a Dead Feminist.

I "should" activate more with this reminder of how short life is, but instead I felt like I was slapped in the face and consequently mad. All I can do for now is give what little I can to the fundraiser to support her husband and 4-yo son (this is the heartbreaking part). Later, I will check in with Jessica to see how else I can help after the immediate shock has subsided.

While I was away, I got another request from Dohee Lee, someone I really admire and have also seen flower in an incredible way over many, many years, to support a Korean American farmer, Kristyn Leach. The video showing her persistent labor makes it clear why I would support farming and seed cultivation in this way, and especially in having her own her own land to continue.

I hope you can support these two incredible women and their legacies. Even if not in dollars, spread the word.

Chandler O'Leary tribute (her FAQs are so...her)

The Nature Lab

Jessica Spring

Dead Feminists

Support Chandler's family

Dohee Lee

Support Kristyn Leach/Gohyang Seed Campus

It's all hard right now

What has transpired over the last week has turned everything upside down but I wanted to show how everything was already such a mess. All of my work lately is BIG and takes a long time. Nothing can get crossed off the to do list quickly. This is Michelle spending hours helping me on my beater, first to wrangle the screws to get the lid off (we had to saw into several to turn hex heads into flat heads). Here she is trying to undo the massive clog of rags that initiated the overhaul. I probably should have done it years back when I first got it, as it's a used machine that had sat outdoors for years, but I was going through so much then that I could only do so much in the moment.

After many panicked thoughts about how I would have to spend too much on a new one, Bill reassured me that this is a machine, which can be taken apart and put back together, and he offered very generously to help. Thank goodness, because I don't have the mechanical understanding, tools, or gumption for what lay ahead. He's trying here to get one massive cast iron support arm off of its locating pins that have rusted on top and won't budge. After seeing the ones on the other side had been broken off and ground down (with the arm brazed and installed backwards later), we figured we'll survive by locating the position with the bolts. It took two days and we accidentally dropped it on the floor, but finally the shaft assembly came free.

This is after Bill got one bearing off. The other won't budge, which will make it impossible to properly place a new seal against the roll on that side. The entire studio has smelled like penetrating oil for weeks.

Once the roll was out, I could finally see what was causing all of the rust chunks in my pulp, which was failing finish and rust. After one morning of sanding and scraping, I called it a day for a while because the next step requires ventilation, which unfortunately the beater room does not have. Temps also dropped so I can't yet roll it into the front gallery, which has a door to the outside, since the heat is broken and the treatment I need to do won't set properly if it's freezing (plus I don't want to work when it's freezing). While the only useful thing I can do on this job is sand and epoxy things, I did have to remove the bedplate and diaphragm and probably need to cut a new one while I'm at it because I would love to not have to do any of this for a good long time again. Bill has the shaft assembly now to wire wheel the rust on the roll and then I have to find replacement bolts for the ones that are rusted out, pulley belts, seals, and who knows what else.

Next big project #2: trying to get a handle on my book inventory. I have so many books that have been waiting for years to get made, and I have felt this pressure (maybe that I put onto myself) to make some. But truly the pressure is financial, because I've turned down teaching gigs to make room to make art in the hopes that if I make more, I can sell more, and replace lost potential income. I'm happy with how this one turned out.

This took a while to figure out content but once I did, I knew I didn't want to glue in text because the abaca paper would cockle horribly with any moist adhesives. I laced in the text and was also happy with that solution.

This one came all at once in a morning, but then took over a week to actually finish (there are two versions, very close but a bit different). I have also had a bunch of false starts, a book I had to re-do completely, and one last night that I destroyed so I am giving up for now and remembering that it's sometimes better to stop and go to bed instead of stay up and mis-fold paper that I only have one sheet of.

Big project #3: I've wanted to get back to the printshop to print my bark lace onto paper so I can use it for a bunch of different projects. That includes more books, more garments, a print portfolio collaboration, and a performance collaboration. It's so simple and yet brings me full circle: the bark that makes the paper can also be the image that imprints onto the paper. To get shop access, I had to do a one-on-one monoprint session with Lisa so that I could rent monthly access. She's a super pro at this and I had a great time getting to know her and her process better.

Here are some samples of my test bark lace and some bark thread that is also supposed to somehow turn into an installation.

We were really methodical that day and I confirmed that my teacher in Korea really deserves his national treasure status. His hanji is a DREAM to print onto. I was so excited to finally put my giant stash of paper to work.

I love how much detail can get picked up and for now am not worrying about ink colors, just trying to understand how natural fiber holds and prints etching ink. And how it holds up to being smashed in a press over and over.

I got carried away in an early attempt to layer when I finally got into the shop by myself to play. This is the day that everything was wonderful and then all came crashing down later.

By my second solo studio day, I tested a bigger piece of bark lace and have been elated by how much I can do with it. This print is on hanji that I brushed persimmon juice onto over and over.

The fiber holds so much ink that I can ghost many times, easily up to four, even if I don't chose to go that far.

This reinforces my general sense of wanting only to work with materials that I make from scratch with the least harm possible or by recycling. Guess what these little sheets used to be? Bricks! And I have lots more so I am excited to take those apart. Today I had a third day in the shop and it really wore me out. Thank goodness that Bill helped at the studio also with a city code issue that required a lot of panicked running around and sign ordering and phone calls and emails and learning that being in a commercial building is a big pain in the ass.

The major big project that has thrown all of my hard-earned plans for a solid month of studio time out the window is caregiving. My guy has managed to break a pretty important joint and goes into surgery this week. The accident was a week ago and has destroyed my ability do to any admin (there goes major project #4: website overhaul with an incredibly competent web person, who works even faster than me. Plus shows in April, taxes, an international trip, etc.). My studio time is shattered and all the extra driving has messed with my body enough to make walking, standing, doing stairs, laying down, and sitting very painful. I drive to the pool for stress relief and find I've forgotten my swimsuit. Or yell at home alone and in the car. Recovery will take months and of course the artist with "free time" can drop everything, anytime. I have to overcome being angry that I've allowed years of my time be seen as less valuable or free to be interrupted and learn to carve out what I need to survive right now. Time to go yell some more.

Bill Lorton

Lisa Schonberg

Massillon Museum show opens April 1 (see you there)

Minnesota Center for Book Arts show, tell me how it goes!
 

Injury and recognition

I was been trying hard to only share positive things but this week has been a dud. This was my weekend sewing, a recycling of an older piece. The recycling in this case went well and I didn't stab myself THAT many times with the needle (plus I had a thimble).

Last week was great because I got to make hanji, and then I finally was able to finish making a makeshift deckle box for the dregs. It took a couple days but in the end I am so satisfied.

A sheet of paper, instead of a tiny pulp wad to put in the fridge to stink up until the next batch! But this week I tried to run my beater and it was utter and abject failure. Not only does there seem to be a short messing with the motor, it is leaking enough to warrant taking apart to replace seals, the roll needs to be refinished because it's flaking bad stuff, and I have to open the lid because I clogged it completely with rag.

Michelle helped me for hours and I was distraught by the series of everything going wrong, so I tried to work in the evening. I started to take apart an old piece of art that I thought was bad and then sliced my finger open with a seam ripper and bled all over it. It was like the Red Sea in the kitchen sink once I managed to get there without dripping blood on the way.

However, I promise to close with better news: Lisa Haque wrote about me for the Hall of Papermaking Champions. I'm the youngest thus far and with this new class, the first of two papermakers of color acknowledged, alongside Paul Wong. Thanks to NAPH membership and the committee for the honor!

What a year already

We had another fabulous papermaking and book art class at Oberlin College for their annual Winter Term. I love WT because it posits that this is a month where you get to focus on ONE project only. While January in Ohio is not amazing weather, it's a quieter campus because many students choose to do their projects at home or abroad or anywhere but school. When it snows, it's even more quiet. But for me, I get slammed into the most busy time immediately after the holidays. It's a great way to completely bypass any doldrums after that ridiculous season. Here are my students cleaning paper mulberry fiber that they had already scraped and cooked and rinsed previously.

You never really know how each group will gel and if the students you selected were the best match for this class so I was relieved to have such a great mix. They were so fully engaged, excited, and kind. I change the class every year to make it work better and this year they cleaned fiber and beat for longer, because I knew it would produce better paper.

Week one is always a focus on Asian style papermaking and fibers, and one student spent a ton of time really picking the milkweed fiber after cooking to get us a fantastic batch.

The paper was lovely and the chiri (waste) paper at the left was also nicer because this time I asked them to try and pick out more of the black bark. This is some of the nicest milkweed paper students have made, again, because we picked out a lot of the excess non-cellulosic material. And then two types of paper mulberry, one from Florida and one from Thailand.

As always, students unleash all kinds of creativity once I show them how to do transfers, embedding, and other techniques to personalize their paper.

This kind of work always takes forever but the results were fabulous!

We also had our regular visits to the Morgan and Zygote so that students can see professional communal art centers that support related techniques. Ed drove the van as always, and his library intern joined us along with Emerson, the new librarian at the Oberlin Conservatory library. This was an especially wonderful month for me because I could hang out with Emerson on campus for the first time since we started at Oberlin as students in 1995!

Biology professor Taylor Allen always lets us use the Critter beater in his research lab to pulp rag that students had cut, from Ed's old cotton shirt and work pants and jeans.

And then we were off to the races with European-style papermaking and pulp painting.

Ed also always generously does the paper marbling demo on the day we decorate papers, while I set up for paste papers and suminagashi.

After recovering from a scary corneal infection during the long holiday weekend (from the usual stress, insomnia, and winter dryness + overwork), I also squeezed in a visit to Nick Fairplay's stonecarving studio. This will eventually become a relief of important Greek people throughout history, to be installed at the Greek Cultural Garden in Cleveland.

I learned so much about this ancient practice, like how important it is to make models (the lion at left).

And, of course, the importance of tools and how hard it is to find good ones because they really aren't made the same way anymore. Nick told us about when he was an apprentice in the UK and the man who made and fixed all of their tools had gone to fight in WWI. When he arrived at the front and they found out he was a blacksmith, they sent him back to England to make bayonets. Two weeks later, his entire battalion was killed in combat. Kids, it is STILL a great idea to learn a trade!!

The last section of class uses the paper we've made to make books.

The feedback this year was that maybe it would make more sense to visit the special collections to see books before they made certain types of paper and books. It's hard for me to take them away from the paper studio at first because I really want to throw them into labor but it's not a bad idea. This is the art library, where I pull a bunch of artists' books for them to view.

We also see books and samples from special collections in the main library, but I like to make sure they go to both since the art building is kind of severed from the rest of campus. I want them to know about more of the amazing resources available to them.

Gena (at left) is a dream to work with, especially because I give her so many last-minute requests for books or supplies and she is really nice about all the things I forget until the students start working. Here, she and Haoyuan are picking dried fiber off of the Japanese sugeta in the main library special collections.

Haoyuan is from Beijing and we met last WT because I noticed my housemate at Shansi House putting up new year's banners. He had done the calligraphy, and I invited him to visit my class to see what else you can do with calligraphy ink. He visited a few more times and then I convinced him to declare a book studies minor (even though he was already a biology/neuroscience double major) and then he took the WT class this year. And made me a new set of spring couplets! Which I hung in my studio.

Last year, I had asked him to do ink tests on different papers, and this year he did it again, but now that he was actually taking the class he had access to all the different papers we made and decorated throughout. He very generously gave me the samples and then I made a little book to house them. Aside from my eye, it was a good month. I now have so many friends and allies in town that my social calendar overflows (not great for rest but it really warms the winter). More importantly, I was able to ask for help when I really needed it.

Now, back home, recovered, and beginning my teaching sabbatical! Of course I've already been tested by new invites to teach...agh. But I've made hanji in the studio this week will make more tomorrow.

More pictures of class

Nicholas Fairplay