Death and OCTOBER

I have no idea what this is. All I know is that it comes from the sea, and it was at the fish market in Busan. I think I ate it when I took my beach trip months ago here, but I really don't know what I was eating.

This was from dinner after our grandfather's death rites. I'm posting food upon Sudha's request for a food blog. I am NOT going to start a food blog, and I already feel guilty enough b/c a dear friend insisted before I came here that I keep him updated on food in Seoul but I can't be bothered, since that involves toting around a camera and remembering to shoot. I'm usually way too hungry to do that.

[I did all the flour for what's out on the table.] Anyhow, I have been A COMPLETE LOON for the past week+. I don't know what day it is, or what month it is (and being born in October, I usually am aware of when it starts, but not this time). My inbox is swelling and I have not had any time to bat it down. I spent last night in my sister's hotel room and was a disaster today during tutoring (but now have a GREAT story about Eddie Murphy and a Korean dude in an elevator), and am still totally unsure about my future housing.

My horoscope says "Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future." That would mean that I should go live w/the complete stranger, rather than crash w/a cousin or find a room that would fit my ass and maybe a suitcase. I have NO IDEA. All I know lately:

1. Eric let me know that our 11th grade American history teacher passed away. Mr. Tucker used to tell us that we would get automatic As for the year if we got a letter to the editor published in the NY Times. I studied instead. HAHAA. His was the first class where I started to really understand feminism, believe it or not. He also had a serious thermos habit (I'm sure that was a COFFEE habit, but I didn't know about coffee addiction when I was 15), which for some reason was very reassuring and comforting to me.

2. My sister and her husband just extended their stay for a couple of days since they want more time in Seoul. We've been shopping a lot.

3. Apparently, I went from hyper fashion conscious (again, when I was 15 and thereabouts) to total schlub (mother condemns Oberlin for this), and my family is concerned. Thus, I now have a new pair of dress shoes. I've been too busy sorting out what a new Fulbrighter called my "spiritual journey" to sort out my fashion journey, but I think it involves a serious commitment to studio work, a 3-year stint in the midwest, poverty or the scarcity mentality, an attempt to take myself completely off the dating market, and just the sheer joy of wearing the same clothes every day.

4. I'm going to burst if I don't see some good art soon. Which means I really want to see some Anish Kapoor and Bill Viola before the shows come down.

5. I made it to the old tea house that a friend of Shir Ly's recommended!!! It rocked my world yesterday. My new fave tea here is citron.

6. I might never go to sleep before 2am. I have new bangs.

7. All the research backing up right now makes me want to cry. Generally, the burden of my life that I have created makes me want to cry. Of course, I don't have time to cry, which increases the burden, and all of this seems inadequate in English, but I don't have all the vocab/grammar to do it in Korean.

8. The stress must be getting to me b/c all I want to do anymore is drink beer. I know, so NOT what I ever do. But it's what I did tonight (which is why I can't sleep now).