Boundaries

[Asia One, a b girl.] I am run a little ragged after staying up until 2am doing I don't even remember on my computer. I think it was a lot of belated updates on my website. I've been having to reformat lots of my docs to fit A4 paper to print here. But I'm close to done w/another app, which means two more and I'm done for the rest of the month. Today in class, my tutor said that I come across as too nice b/c I speak to slowly in Korean. But it's not even that - I speak quickly in English but still come across as a doormat!! We talked today about how I need to learn to say no. I am getting into a lot of trouble b/c of this, and always have. But it's funny that she mentioned the speed thing. It reminds me of when I was learning how to dance and my teacher said I had all the moves but had to do them FASTER. So that'll be my new thing.

The upside to today's failure to shore up my boundaries: I was knitting on the subway again on my way home, and got a LOT of attention. Usually a few older women will take notice and ask what I'm doing, I say I'm making a piece, and that's that. But today two women made me come over and show them what I was doing and they were like, "WHY are you only purling?? You need to knit!" I tried to explain to them that I only purl now since I'm a paper knitter so that's my habit. Knitting pulls the paper too tight. Besides, it's easier to do all the work in the front. Then, they kept trying to get me a seat by being on the lookout for people who were getting off the train. Once I sat down, the woman to my left asked me what I was doing and then the man on my right asked what kind of thread I was using (ramie) and so on.

Finally, a woman actually got up from her seat to sit next to me and ask what I was doing. So the whole story came out and she was really impressed that I'm here to study hanji, that I can speak Korean, and that I make such lovely work. It was nice, too, b/c she asked where I was staying and I told her about all the pressure from my uncle to get married, and she said, "it's not like you CAN'T, you're just choosing not to since you have your own work to do!" She was very supportive. I think I'm getting the attention more so now that the piece is getting longer and more conspicuous.

Oh, my word ruler is in another show in Denver at Abecedarian Gallery. Tomorrow is the last big obligation that I have, which makes my horoscope even more apt: "You come on stage to greet an adoring audience, do a riveting song and dance, then announce that you won't be doing any more shows for a while because you're about to go off and get busy on creating your next big splash."