Friday, June 30, 2006

End of an era

1. As of 10:03am today, my edition was completed! WOHOOOOOO!!!! I already sent out one to Oberlin as a donation for a scholarship they gave me for grad school (n.b.: my undergrad alma mater gave me lots of money to go to grad school, but my grad alma mater gave me not even enough to pay for one class. What's wrong w/this picture?), and contacted the Joan Flasch collection at the School of the Art Institute, where another will go. And another to the Asian Arts Center b/c they gave me money to finish the edition.

2. Even though I felt awfully sick and feverish and weak and sweaty (I got to school at 8:30am thanks to Anne - hitched a ride w/her) after about five hours of sleep, I kept working in the studio to make my silly last set of prints on pink paper made from Anne's sheets and some other scraps. They're not anything good, but pretty good for being sick and sleep-deprived!

3. After all that, I got some lunch and then started to pack my studio. I'm giving up on bagging my bricks: they're getting loaded into the car naked b/c I can't deal w/making the contractor bags bigger w/cutting and taping. Forget it; I'm way too tired for that. I feel badly b/c Joseph is riding home on the train to get the car, driving thru traffic to come back to school and then load the car, for what will mostly likely be TWO trips. Ow. Not ideal, but oh well. I feel like I should ride home w/a bag of bricks, but I'm really exhausted and think people smashed into rush hour trains won't appreciate my extra load. But here I am, to the bitter end. Just got my tapes from my thesis from Nathalie so I can stop putting off calling my editor to take care of them. It might be too late; I know he's really busy this summer. These are the times I wish I just made a little book for my thesis.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Bleary and OCD

Scary things are cracking in my neck and jaw and back. Today has been ridiculous, and it's a mixed kind of emotion now: I feel awful for not being able to hang w/Tam tonight b/c of my edition (and the worst part is that I emailed her last night to cancel, but it was one of those "lost in the web" messages that somehow never got to her), but so relieved that I'm almost done w/a project I thought I couldn't do. I'm killing my eyes and hands and body making this, and still thinking that it's the best work to do. It's kind of scary how single-minded I've been for the past few years, but kind of astounding, too. In a way, my mom was right: I better have a damn good reason for not having a job or a husband all this time.

So, all the drama today was that I was trying to figure out if I could move tomorrow or next week. Joseph and I will do it tomorrow. I got the contractor bags today, almost died getting them back to school w/stops at the farmer's market for two cookies and other "I'm starving and have been schlepping like a mad bag lady" lunch items, and then met Terttu at school. After a lot of confusion about when we're getting kicked out, I started back on the edition and had dinner at the opening downstairs. Elizabeth was there - SO great to catch up. I think a LOT of the problem right now w/me and my not very good maintenance of friendships is that almost none are in my position: just graduated from this program. Hard to get.

Okay. Must run to the train and then be a bad roommate, coming home late. Tomorrow is IT!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Knew I was forgetting something

I wanted to post before I got caught up in the mire of the day. Well, I already freaked out internally about my ER bill from last year that still isn't resolved. The collection people claim there are always TWO bills when you go to the ER. I remember getting about five thousand at the time, but thought it was all the same. Now, I'm afraid that if it does turn out to be double the price (over $1,000 to get staples?? SO ridiculous. I should have done it myself), that my school won't cover it b/c they'll say it's my fault for not handing over all the bills (if there ARE two bills...I don't know where I put that file b/c it was deep in a "thank god THIS is over!" box, which I think is now in Anne's basement). And then that always reminds me of the really bad stuff that happened that time last year, and then I just get completely devastated by my life.

But. I let myself sleep in until 8:30am, and get to school late. I finished making all the rest of my cyanotypes and refuse to make more. I pulped the fiber I've had soaking forever and almost forced myself to make paper, but caught myself before it was too late. I'm too tired for that. So the plan now for today:

+ clean studio in preparation for moving out (and look, I already started by throwing out all of my brick molds, except two. The garbage can is completely full of the pink foam)
+ meet w/scholarship advisor to submit receipts
+ farmer's market if it's still open
+ yoga if I have the energy

Sunday, June 25, 2006

More pictures, round 2

The darkroom stuff is from yesterday - all the cyanotypes are hanging to drip dry. I didn't realize that the chemicals in one batch of paper would affect the cyanotype chemicals so much. Then again, I forget that I usually don't make such chemical-y paper (hercon for sizing, calcium carbonate to buffer, titanium dioxide to whiten & brighten, retention aid for the titanium, and PEO for sheet formation).

Oh, and the middle spread of that comic book I made last week. Wednesday and Punky are Anne's dogs.

Old pictures, round 1

These are all parts of the bookbinding process, for my edition (waxing thread, piercing holes to sew, all the cases I had to prep with book board, the books sewn, the books almost cased [which means gluing the sewn text block to the case, which will be the cover]).

Saturday, June 24, 2006

What I meant to say

After I glue down paper on the covers of the book, and open it against me so I can glue up the pastedowns, the feeling of the paper sweating as it leans on my chest is like holding Oscar. Making this edition is hard, b/c it's a book about me and my mom. Mostly me, by looking at what she did to make me physically more "perfect." Setting the type and seeing the words print and proofing them - trying to be a good editor - was more challenging than I thought. The first two editions, it didn't phase me as much. But as I was binding all day yesterday, I just felt more and more love for this book, which I purposely made as cool as possible (cool in tone, color, etc. - b/c it is so fraught in content). It reminded me of cooking, how the emotions & intent you have while cooking all manifest in the food. It's the same w/making work, and it felt good to get to a place w/this long process where I could feel a lot of love for it, the process, as well as the book.

Time to head back down to the studio.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


This morning, at city hall, in NY!!!

OMG!!! (not a huge surprise, but kind of. She called me first but the voicemail didn't get to me until now, when I got the email. So first I was mad, like, "WHAT?? how can you EMAIL me this kind of news???" But then I realized she called. No idea why my phone didn't register it, b/c I was totally up and in range.)

Now I feel SO GUILTY about not being there (b/c Breda is doing her wedding stuff now and I'm not there...ugh). Bad friend, bad sister. All b/c of financial & studio crunch time crap. UGH.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Being a dad (post from Thurs nite)

That's how I feel, living this funny family life. Now I completely understand why parents stay up late and don't get enough sleep. If I had posted earlier today, after a yoga class that almost killed me (b/c there were too many people in a too-small room - our mats were only inches away from each other; and b/c I pushed myself too hard and
tweaked out my back again), I would have said that I looked, felt, and smelled like hell. But since I'm posting late at night after yoga, errands, studio time, babysitting, vacuuming, preparing snacks for Clover, having tea w/Clover, and showering, I can say that now I only look and feel like hell.

I keep forgetting that I'm performing tomorrow night: I believe I'll be on from 9-11pm (though I don't know b/c no one has told me), doing the performance I did last weekend, which caused the grossness on my ankle and jacked back: In and Out (a sequel to Up and Down). It will be for the Spareroom benefit, happening at the Elastic Arts Foundation. I love the people involved w/both organizations, so it's all good - come if you can. Let's just hope I remember to show up and figure out where to go.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Pure advertising

I'm so embarrassed that Tamara is better at promoting me than I am. I'm just soooo tired from the move that I'm lucky I've actually spun some shifu today. I've never done it before; Robbin had told me that master shifu makers just put the paper that's cut into long skinny strips on a table, roll it around w/their hands, and that's that.

I just took the nine-foot paper I had, cut it into strips, wet it as I worked, and spun it between my fingers and thumb. After doing that once or twice, I decided I'd die from hand cramps, so I eventually started to roll it w/my palms on my bare thighs. That worked a lot better. So these images are from that process. I'll write "IN" or "OUT" on the ends, and then they'll all be hanging off a piece braided around my neck (all conjecture at this point). Then people will get to come and take the INs and OUTs and replace them as I sit with new INs and OUTs that I'll hold in my hands.

Oh, which comes to the promoting part: I'm premiering this piece at the Printer's Row Book Fair this weekend, at noon on Sunday (June 4) and possibly again at 2:30pm. I'll be at the Columbia College tent, near Dearborn and Harrison. I'll also be selling books and whatnot both days: Saturday from 10am - 2pm and Sunday from 2pm - 6pm. It's a great fair, so you should just come if you're in the city, regardless of when I'm there.

p.s. - if anyone DOES come to see me perform, I forgot to book a photographer, so come and take pictures! And then send them to me!