Tuesday, May 19, 2009

When did I get so crotchety?

Going to bed late is not very good for me but I keep doing it. I realized today that I was waaaay too cranky about yesterday and that I will turn small and shriveled and bitter if I keep acting like that - not accepting opportunities with open arms, being suspicious and paranoid, and forgetting that there are ways to learn from everything. I had only gotten a few tiny clips from Bill's speech last night b/c I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be shooting, and also b/c when I started recording the talk would get boring and when I stopped he would say the most perfect things. Ben shared his theory about how it's good to do these things b/c I'd probably be procrastinating anyhow. So I need to enjoy things in the moment instead of stressing over what ELSE I could be doing w/that time. Esp since no one understands if you say, "I need to finish weaving this lamp!!" and try to prioritize it over everything, yet procrastinate simultaneously.

I had to do a translation this morning that I had sent to my dad for a first round, and it was kind of hellish, and all I could think was, "I feel Katherine's pain." I complained to my dad about how Koreans are so bad with English, and he said, of course they are! And you can't change it! So after that task, I did laundry and other bits of work and then finally buckled down to some weaving. Esther called at about five and gave me info on tonight's date, which was a bday dinner. It was SO lovely; she has great girlfriends and a bunch of Fulbright people came out and I really loved the woman next to me and across from her is a woman who is my across-the-hall neighbor. We've never met save running into each other a few days ago.

And now it is late again and I am behind again in my weaving homework but this is my life. Nothing is ever enough in the face of incredible surplus. Like last night, when Bill talked about how a country in Africa (I already forget which) had famine during a bumper crop year simply b/c there were no modes of storage, transit, delivery, and distribution, so the food in one part of the country went bad as the people in another part of the country went hungry. These are problems that can be solved, that must be solved. I am given so much but can't see it! I need to solve this blindness.

p.s. - I noticed last night that Bill had this handmade-looking bracelet on his right wrist. A guy I met last night said it was from South America. Inga had noticed it, too, and we both thought the same thing: wouldn't it be great to for him to have a hanji one? In that spirit, Esther got one tonight (see right wrist above).

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