Friday, May 15, 2009

Filter

I spent the afternoon with Helena, a FB senior researcher, which was quite wonderful. We went to my dyeing lesson and tea at the bird cafe. She had insights that were just what I needed to hear right now. I thought I was going to come home and weave, but now it's six hours later, and I'm still cleaning out my HD. Ben told me to just burn to DVD, but I am overdue for purging.

[Cranky edit:]
She confirmed my recent frustration: we are here in Korea, working. But I fear that many think I am in Korea, on vacation. As my teachers say, this is "gold time." My time is precious. I need to protect it, to shore up boundaries, to step up and try to be like the people I admire so much. People who are killer smart and super good at what they do (like teachers, not ax murderers). So I'm starting the sacrifices: I am going to quit Korean classes, and stop taking requests from friends who are asking for favors like buying fake designer bags. If I ask you if you want anything from Korea, remind me to stop being such a people-pleasing doormat. It's not my job to gift my entire rolodex with tokens of my research year.

[Rosy edit:]
I was so inspired today that I got on the wrong bus home. I take the 272 but saw "-72," got on the 172, and didn't realize for a while that I was not on the right bus, so it took a while to get home. This is the story of my life. I am learning a lot about who I am now, who I was, and how much things have changed. Helena made a funny comment (funny to me b/c I hear it over and over but still am trapped in the trap) about how I keep saying I never do enough, but that the reality is the opposite. We talked art, media, the web, the future, love, war, peace, teaching, and the beautiful boy waiting for me back home. It was a good day.

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