Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Piping up and down

Whoa, crankster roller coaster! I wanted really good reasons for things that have been going on lately and I got a lot of answers today. I learned that I am helplessly judgmental and make tons of assumptions (the problem being that I go 50/50 on those, so it's hard to give it up completely since I'm right as often as I am wrong). I also create incredibly intricate ways in which I believe that other people see me - all negative and twisted, of course. I read my horoscope today about how I need to stop worrying about things and just to accept them as learning experiences. So I made a few hard calls today and was yelled at but then things got back onto fine terms and now everyone knows where everyone else stands.

I met Carla today, and later her husband and daughter. She's a Fulbrighter here to research traditional lacquer. One of the first videos I saw on handmade paper involved lacquer techniques, so of course my first questions were about how poisonous it is. They only arrived two weeks ago, so I'm surprised at how well they are functioning. It was harrowing enough for me to see her child being scooped up by a Korean fruit vendor and carried over to his stand - it looked like a kidnapping - so I can only imagine how stressful it is for her as a mom to deal with that on a daily basis. I forget that blonde, blue-eyed children are still treated like circus animals here and get insane preferential treatment. We talked about how the transition back for her after a year of this will likely be harder than her parents' reentry. Anyhow, it was good to meet someone who has had her share of nine lives and is here now. I also love that she was a gymnast in her former life.

I got a rush order done in the studio today and was pretty excited to have been surprisingly productive given a late start this morning. Today I was so fired up (in good and bad ways) that I realized that I must make new year's resolutions. I haven't done that since 2002 when I set Madonna as my role model (don't worry, she's not anymore). But this time I have to do it. The preliminary outline involves saying no, setting boundaries, expressing my truth, and worrying less.

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