Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Miracles and small circles

Well. I think 2am is my regular weeknight bedtime. Tonight might even run later. I just can't stop working. There is so much work. There is so much EVERYTHING. Tonight I met Hyesun for dinner and drinks and later we met her friends for tea. At dinner we talked a lot about friendship, good friends (my bro-in-law had just reminded me the other day that you don't have to talk to really good ones all the time), acquaintances, being shut off, how to identify "real" friends, and two-way streets. I learn a lot about how I let in a lot of ridiculous and toxic things and people into my life and don't really quite get it until it's too late and they've leeched on and are sucking away. Actually, last night at dinner, Stephanie said that I needed to fix up my crazy radar and immediately cut off all crazies when I identify them as such. She said I'm way too compassionate. A nice way of saying that I'm a big sucker.

So I suppose I should be making lots of changes in my life. Before meeting Hyesun, I worked my butt off on more typing transcriptions of Korean notes, and then went to an artsy trendy neighborhood for my first visit to a clinic that does body typing and speed acupuncture (that's what I call it. I have no idea what it's officially called, but it involves instant needle contact and release, constantly moving, so there's no needles that stay stuck, and the whole thing lasts about 5 minutes). I had been curious and also dreading it b/c I knew I'd get info I didn't want to know. Their big thing is that you are what you eat: ALL body dysfunction comes from diet. There are eight body types and you have to eat w/in your own.

Apparently, my type is Colonotonia (beautiful name, I know. It means that my colon is super strong - so I have to do things to make sure it doesn't work out a lot and overwhelm the rest of my body, while strengthening all the other organs. Especially my weak-ass liver). Good news: I don't have to do strenuous exercise! In fact, it's bad for me to sweat a lot and do rigorous workouts - it's too exhausting. And since my lungs are strong, it would be bad to make them stronger. So, ideal exercise includes swimming, yoga, and long walks. PERFECT. No wonder I've always had aversions to hardcore running and other sweaty activities.

Bad news: I'm not supposed to eat meat, root veggies, dairy, wheat, sugar, freshwater fish, apples & pears, and garlic. Or take hot baths. Or go hiking in the mountains. Actually, that's not all bad. But I've been eating all the bad foods since I've gotten here since it's easy. Oh, and I'm not supposed to drink. How can they say that to people living in Seoul?! The first principle for my constitution is to stop eating meat, and the second is to not use medication. The third, VERBATIM, "is not to get upset." Hahaha!!! I saw three doctors and they all said immediately, "you're very sensitive, aren't you?" and then that I need to not get angry. Interesting. So I came out very calm. We'll see how long that lasts.

Tonight, Hyesun scolded me for complaining about how I have to study harder now to get to the next level in Korean. She said that I have been given an incredible gift of language b/c I grew up in a Korean home, and that I need to just shut up and keep at it. It's true, and I was amazed when I got my evaluations from my language exams (pre- and post-): I went from "advanced" to "nearly fluent" (a two point difference, though I don't know what the scale is). I was SO EXCITED to see that. Nearly fluent!! Does that mean that I could be fluent in this lifetime?! I have wanted to be bilingual for SO LONG. I guess I never thought it would happen in this lifetime. But if Obama can happen in this lifetime, then I can wrestle Korean down.

In the end, my problems are problems of abundance, and my inability to see them as such b/c I'm so trapped in a scarcity mentality. I have been given many, many gifts, like just being here. Like friends who almost make ME cry as if to return the favor. Like a rock solid family. Like a constitution that accepts mostly everything from the sea very well. And even better: chocolate is on my list of beneficial foods!!


  1. great post, Aimee! truths..and dare!
    and l'd like to know which type l am..though l wouldn't quit chocolate!

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  3. Aimee--

    I just came back from a new acupuncturist yesterday. I felt I was losing my mind because I was always so angry, exhausted, and depressed. Honestly...I was considering suicide because I felt disconnected from the world. My first appointment with the acupuncturist and whoa---it was like a web of sadness was pulled out of my body. I could feel all the anguish fade away during my session, so my point is I'm going to continue going back to the place.

    How is the non-eating-meat thing going? I've always respected vegetarians, but I cannot cook! Not sure how to feel full if I can't eat chicken and I'm used to microwave pizzas :( Do you feel better at all? I've been taking various forms of antidepressants for many years because of anxiety. It frightens me (of course!) to think about just stopping taking my medication. Thoughts?

    Thank you. :)



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