Monday, July 21, 2008

Suddenly frantic

[From the same park near home. I liked this outdoor piece a lot.] Last night, I started to get a little crazy in my head and had to take some melatonin and do some journaling. I've been feeling incredibly limited by my own limitations, wound up with a dissatisfaction with who I am. I realize that my freaking out about my age in comparison with everyone else is just a small indicator of how much I do that in general, and how constantly comparing myself to other people in all aspects always makes me miserable (yet I continue to do it). I feel like I'm not doing ENOUGH here (broken record!) and that everyone else is always doing a million things. So I had all these plans to run errands today but now have to run home b/c I just found out about a print deadline that requires jpgs, which are all at home.

I also realize that I'm out of sorts b/c I'm not doing what I would rather be doing - which would be having a studio, privacy, and time to make art. But yesterday, our class had a funny practice session for the song we have to perform in a few weeks: we went for karaoke! The place was kind of outrageous, with decor, and glittering lights everywhere, self-serve ice cream, and huge teddy bears in each private room. We practiced the lyrics and figured out who gets which, and then a couple of students worked on choreography.

Oh, and the rains have started. Friday night, the rain started and never really stopped. I guess right now we're in a lull and will have a few days w/o rain, but it was pretty hardcore.

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