Friday, April 06, 2012

Shortening the dance

Two nights ago, I had insomnia, so I got up and made 12 cords in the dark while staring at the blinking router. Yesterday, I made 12 more cords while watching something on my computer, I can't remember what. Today, I finished the last 12 and now I can no longer delay my afternoon work. I'm back to edits on the manuscript; I will sign a contract soon! Everything has become more urgent, but also real, and I am finally digging deep to figure out the answers to my questions, instead of the usual flailing. Today I was able to articulate this: maybe I could freak out a little less, and trust myself a little more. I've done so much work and it might not kill me if I own it. The foundation is solid, so who cares if I call B. kazinoki paper mulberry when really it should only refer to B. papyferia? I care, certainly, but it won't destroy my work (btw, they've been crossbred so much that no one sweats the terminology). Since we all have the rest of our lives to keep making mistakes, learning, and changing, but still do not have very long lives, I am hoping that my Over The Top Freaking Out Dance can be sidestepped, or at least abbreviated.

Also, how proud am I of Jami, and her new beautiful book? I only read a draft a long time ago (it really feels like EONS ago) but even then I knew it was going to be great.

3 comments:

  1. YAY for aimee who makes cords while the rest of the world sleeps.

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  2. YAY for "maybe I could freak out a little less, and trust myself a little more. I've done so much work and it might not kill me if I own it."
    Your friends all now have permission to quote this back to you in perpetuity. ^^

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  3. believe it or not, one already HAS! she quoted it back to me last night and i had already forgotten...^^

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