To counter the loooong post

Renata recently sent me a link to a mail art site.

Cracks of all sorts

[Part of Jeong-In's huge studio windowsill.] I wanted to go to bed early tonight b/c I've been so overworked and sick lately, but I started the worrying immediately so I figured to just stay up and worry while getting a few things done instead of roll around in bed and worry. Things have been chaotic lately. I feel that I'm straying from the path, feeling really far removed from papermaking. I guess that's part of the peril of research + all the extra stuff. It turns into a test of discipline. I love going off on tangents, but suddenly I have all this reading material that I haven't touched and haven't been successful in making the tons of phone calls I was supposed to this week. I've been a complete slacker in language studies and just generally feeling out of it.

My family confirmed today that I've lost a bunch of weight (I'm sure it's only in my face), and they saw me about 2-3 weeks ago, so the weird sickness and overwork has taken its toll. A couple weeks ago, I made a commitment to talk about my work and teach a binding to a group of book arts enthusiasts, and the prep and stress for that tipped the scale. But that was yesterday. On the way home, some disgusting older man was all over me on the subway (once a seat next to me opened up, he changed seats, spread his legs wide, and proceeded to "read the newspaper" while opening it so wide that his arm was rubbing up against mine. Every time I tried to move away from him, he'd just encroach more. I finally just got up and changed my seat, but freaked out a little when he got off at the same stop as me. After consulting a friend and my cousin today, I now know that it would have been completely appropriate for me to start screaming at him (English swearing would have been okay, too), esp since there were plenty of other people on the train. And also, that once I got off it would have been okay to go to the stationmaster and alert them and they'd call the police. Good to know now but it was awful to have to deal with that after a really long day of language exams, binding prep, almost passing out in the classroom, and doing the whole seminar.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how people here feel fine coming up to me to let me know that I'm flashing people or dressed inappropriately or whatever, and in the process of asking my teacher about that part of Korean culture, heard her end of it. She taught Korean at Wellesley for two years, and said that she was really shocked to see her students and other randoms in the street walking around w/low-cut jeans and their underwear and/or ass cracks hanging out. As soon as she said that, I realized that I have not seen a single butt crack since I've landed!! Which I have to admit is really nice.

In that spirit, I've set the theme for September's photos at eyes everywhere, so tune in starting next Saturday to see what everyone else comes up with. We have a new artist contributing from Dubai! It's nice to have a weekly project, since I've also lately been feeling VERY removed from the world, and all worlds that once provided me with intellectual, artistic, social, and spiritual nourishment. I thought I had set things up to help me, but it's not quite working out. I have the photo blog project, the mail art project with Ching-In, and my own subscription series, but it's still feeling peripheral to my life, like one more thing to do. Hopefully once classes end (one week left, wohoo!), I'll get more time to do my thing (at least 10 more hours each week!). And after the end of November, I'll have ALL my time for research/etc., once tutoring ends.

The other thing that I think has added to my insanity is the lack of reading that I'm doing. I don't have anything right now to read in English, besides a book of Krishnamurti blurbs, so I think if I just had someone else's stories to lean on every once in a while (even just weekend nights would be fine), I'd regain some peace of mind.

Oh! I went to the dentist today. Pretty much, there is nothing to be done for my TMJ wackiness and bruxism. But the dentist was really nice and drew all these pictures for me to show me what is wrong w/my jaw bone, teeth, fillings, etc. He's super busy so it was nice that he took the time to do that. He already put resin on my teeth to reduce sensitivity. But that's part of the scariness: I feel like all the things today that happened were things that would NEVER happen back home! My x-rays were shot w/o ANY protection to the rest of my body, and right out the open in the same room where 3 other chairs are set up for patients and assistants. Also, I swear that the resin he put on my teeth is just a glorified version of epoxy. I felt like I was just getting epoxy in my mouth. Hmm.

The not so fun news is that I have to go now every Saturday to replace ALL of my fillings. SEVEN of them!!! AAAAGHHH. But Dr. V had already told me in Chciago years ago that I had to do that. I just didn't have the funds at the time to do it. My friend who took me there joked that I didn't come to Korea to study, I just came to get all my medical needs taken care of! But as an American, how could it be any different? The dentist today said that if I did this dental work in the US, I'd have to sell a house to be able to afford it. Too true.

Other conversations today touched on depress-o topics like the new scary Korean prez who is being compared to both Bush and Hussein. Nasty stuff going on here, with blatant suppression of any anti-prez media, his desire to switch to a managed health care system like the US (I'd think that the ENTIRE WORLD would run screaming from a system like that!), and pandering to the rich while ignoring the poor. We also talked about if and how reunification would work, and how Korea was simply a pawn for Russia, China, Japan, and the US, but that at the time it had no power to do anything but be divided. Apparently, Korea is also the only country in the world that once received Unicef aid but now gives to Unicef to aid other nations.

The interesting story I heard today about the end of the Korean war was how China sent its military to counter the US army, and that it overwhelmed the US just by its sheer numbers: the soldiers simply marched from north to south, with absolutely no weapons, and just clapped. The US could shoot all it wanted, but the dead soldiers would be replaced by waves of new soldiers, clapping. There was no end. Anyone who saw the Olympics ceremonies would have a better sense of how many people live in China. So the US just called it a draw.

Tomorrow is my one full day off, though! My niece will be around in the morning, but I can deal with it until she goes to church (tho she keeps asking why I don't go). Also, HOW is it already September??! And Labor Day?!? I've lost alllll sense of time / season. Fulbright is closed Monday so I'll have to wait until Tuesday to pick up my business cards. Finally.

No end in sight!!

[an older work by Jorg] No rest until maybe Sunday! Today I met Jeong-In at her studio again, which was a nice treat. I think we're going to swap books, so that means that I'll have made and placed an entire edition in less than a year. Have not really studied a lick for my exam tomorrow. I was sitting on a bench outside trying to look over vocab and a woman came up to me to tell me that I was flashing the world (I was crossing my legs in a skirt). That kind of thing only happens in Korea.

GOOD NEWS: I had wanted to find this woman who spun hanji, but was worried that she wasn't alive anymore (it was an old lead from years and years ago). But she IS! Jeong-In helped me confirm her phone number and called today. I'll call again tomorrow. I really hope I get to meet her and see her work; I think that very few people in Korea are spinning paper. I could be totally off the mark, but it's nice to know that some people stay in the same place for a long time.

MORE love in the mail: a package from my sister and an extra special one from Ellie-Jo!! She knew exactly what I needed. I feel so blessed by the postal system lately! Now it's back to work before I fall over (I've been dizzy again). Tomorrow is a big day.

Cicada killers

If I were to do a direct translation of what they say I am sick with, it would be something like "body flesh cold" or "suffering from fatigue cold." I went back to school today and felt like I had an on&off fever, but being in school at least distracted me a little from being sick. I really think that studying so many vocab words about being ill and going to the hospital set me on the wrong path. So did overworking myself, which I've already (conveniently) forgotten the vocab word for.

I'm binding up another sample book but my aunt told me that it looked too primitive. I guess I'm a Neanderthal binder. It's too late to make changes now. I'm prepping for a very long, difficult Friday - more details once it's all over. Tomorrow I make another studio visit. Today I got FUN mail: a card from Andrea that said "watch out for the cicada killer" and a postcard from her TA, Lauren, who said that I showed up in a paper-related dream of hers. Note that we have never met in person.

I'm hoping that I'll get lots of work done in the next hour and that I don't wake up in the middle of the night on the verge of vomiting like last night. But the GREAT news...I finally got something that I've been waiting for for YEARS: aimeelee.com. [the domain is finally out of the hands of the snack food search engine people!!]

What kind of sickness IS this??

(These are waiting to be made into something...) I have no idea what is wrong with me right now. For the past four days, I've had a raging headache, which is uncharacteristic. I thought it was poisoning from mosquito repellent OR acclimating to doing yoga for the first time in two months. But now I just have no idea. At 2:30am, I woke up nearly unable to walk. It was the worst sciatica I've ever had.

I skipped school today (this is the neighboring college, Ewha Women's University. They just built this new "building," which is carved into a hill. It reminds me of locations for virgin sacrifices but maybe that's just my overactive imagination). The problem is that sitting makes my back worse, but laying down makes my head worse. I tried taking a walk thru the lake park but got really dizzy and felt like hell so I came back after 30 minutes.

(More of Jorg's work.) Oh, haha. I just got an email from my sister saying that I am sick b/c I am too old to do physical activity w/o warming up. I feel this awful b/c I put my ankle behind my neck on Friday? But, good news: I got an amazing package from Asao Shimura, a papermaker extraordinaire in the Philippines, who sent me lots of info and miniature books and a DVD. Yay.

Creeping

I'm feeling sick.

A mix of lots of strange things (it didn't help that we did a whole unit on illness and going to the doctor in language class). I'm hoping I kick it so I can do all the Very Important Things this week like taking exams. I took two pills from Audrey today to try and cope w/the headache. I'm sure that sitting in A/C w/the newest Fulbright arrival and then my language exchange partner and her psych grad student cohort didn't help.

So, time for bed.

Please help a fellow artist!

I just got an email from kate hers, who is an artist that I met thru Pauly. She helped me a lot in the process of applying for the Fulbright and beyond. She was in Berlin for the past several months (maybe longer?) on leave from her MFA program in California, and just returned to find that all her material possessions left in the US were trashed. I'm sending her a check as soon as I get her address, and posting her message here:

Dear friends, colleagues, collectors, and supporters,

I beseech you for help. It is with a heavy heart that I share with you my catastrophic situation. Upon going to pick up my personal belongings and art portfolio in a public storage space while I was away in Europe, I received most unfortunate news. In a freak mistake, everything was thrown away. I have lost the most important documentation of my artistic process since the last 12 years. Photographs, negatives, CDs, videotapes, art supplies, sketchbooks, clothes, office and kitchen supplies, bedding, towels, items of sentimental value, my entire library of books and DVDs and music CDs, etc. are gone. Basically everything I owned except for a few things I fortunately left at friends’ houses has been destroyed.

In order to find a positive way to transform my situation, I have come up with a new plan. From now until I raise several thousand dollars to help me replace all that I have lost (especially art supplies to make new work), I am offering a voucher system on my artwork. These vouchers come in $50 increments and they can be cashed at the end of 2009 (perhaps for the holiday season) to go towards the purchase of unique and original edition work, which includes: drawings, handmade collages, digital collages, and video. The work price ranges from $10 to $1000. Works will be offered to potential buyers in the order that the vouchers were purchased, but I promise to have a substantial selection. Note that mailing costs will not be included in the works price but can be calculated later depending on where I should ship the work. To get an idea of what my works look like now, please see my portfolio on my website at www.katehers.com.

In addition, I have unsigned Missing Persons Posters available now for $10. There is also a limited signed edition, which goes for $25. Please see the website for the image or email me for information,

I understand that some of you do not have the financial means of assisting me. Prayers, positive energy, and hugs are quite welcome. I also am in dire need of kitchen equipment like mugs, glasses, dishes, pots and pans, and cooking utensils. If you have a white elephant in the haus, I can help you find a new home for it.

To buy a voucher, please email or call me to get more information. I can also accept EURO by bank transfer in Berlin. Please forward this request if you know someone that might be interested.

Sincerely yours,
kate hers
katehers@mac.com

Precious weekends

I lied. I'm too wiped out to talk more about how the exhibit went and review all the info I got from the artist about his work and life as a German artist in London, or to review dinner/drinks with Richard and his friends in one of the fanciest upscale neighborhoods in Seoul.
But I would like to say that catering at art openings (I've been to three since I've arrived) is simply exquisite.

Last night, after a long day out and about w/the daughter of a family friend (who was soooo sweet and lovely. We had a fun time over shabu shabu, coffee & sweet potato cake, and getting another book on hanji from one of the biggest bookstores here), I came home to pure love. Pauly sent homemade cookies!!! It was hilarious, b/c when I first opened the package, it looked like two huge tempeh sandwiches. For a moment, I thought, "she's lost her mind! She sent sandwiches from Angelica!"

I caught up on a little sleep last night (with a brief interlude: mosquito attack), finally did an hour of yoga today, had noodles for lunch and then passed out for a 2.5-hour nap. I still feel a little woozy from that. Everything is backlogged, work-wise, but I'm hoping that it will all work itself out. Oh, and I was silly enough to tweak out my sciatic again on Friday b/c my classmates begged me to show them some b boying. I ended up basically doing YOGA but most people can't tell the difference. But I did it w/o warming up. No more putting my foot behind my head on demand. I must have been a circus animal in another life.

Only 24 hours, only 24 hours

Should be in bed but had to post and do some inbox clearing so I don't cry this weekend b/c of the backlog. Today: went to galleryem to the opening of an exhibit by two artists. Only one was able to make the opening.

That's him: Jorg Obergfell. Will talk more about the work later. It was fun: lovely gallery space, fun art, beautiful reception, and I got to meet my cousin's wife's friends (including the gallery owner, Emma. Get it? galleryEM...anyhow, she did her MFA at Parsons, I think. She couldn't get over how much I looked like my cousin).

That's Emma on the left, and then me grilling the artist. Richard, the first language grant + Fulbright grantee to arrive after me, came by and then we went out w/two of his friends to have dinner in the area. More on all of it later. For now, bed!

Undone

I am recognizing my pattern of constantly saying to myself, "once you get this done, then you'll be home free." Every big application, every time I finish one obligation, every time I do anything! I need to figure out a different way to see things b/c there's never any end to it. I just talked to the 2nd person to arrive here in my Fulbright cohort and was having a hard time speaking English. It's weird, b/c when I talk to Audrey or Kelsey or other Americans that I've met in my language program, I'm fine. Now that my homework is done and my bank statements reconciled, I'm realizing that my neck has gone into spasm again. GREAT.

I'm pushing a little too hard lately. But I just can't get it all done and get 8.5 hours of sleep at night (that's my optimal amount). So getting along on 5-6 hours plus dozing on public transportation is all I get. Today was a long haul, going back to Gangnam to meet Na Rae Kim. I ended up riding home w/her photographer on the subway. They both are CHOCK full of info and leads and are super willing to help me out, but it gets to be overload on top of all the other leads I'm working on. Plus, final exams are coming up for school! AGH.

Today's gem: teaching Na Rae and her assistant how to tip in a photo w/o glue. And being asked by her photog about handsewn endbands. I'm kicking myself hard for not taking my notes from Melissa's classes to Korea.

I plead family

It's a big lifestyle change going from a small immediate family with the closest extended family about 2.5 hours away, to being right in the middle of a big extended family almost all within one city. I had BIG plans for this weekend, and pretty much fell short of all of them. I also was unable to get my usual weekend naps yesterday and today. I thought today would be my big work day, since I stay home while the rest of my family goes to church. It's a great time to do laundry and artwork, since no one is underfoot and it's quiet. I cut, spun, and shot this paper before I got my rude awakening.

BOTH of my cousin's children came home w/their grandparents from church, and disrupted my peaceful Sunday. And at the worst possible moment! I had all my tools out, including knives, all my paper, my computer, and tin of pens. My niece pounced onto all of it, and my nephew started pounding away at the laptop. So much for getting anything else done! I tried, but it's really quite pointless. I finally gave in and took my niece out to recharge my transit card and get treats from the department store supermarket. I'm sad that I wasn't able to edit any more papermaking video or do a speck of work on my performance, but I guess sometimes you just have to watch kids make an entire board game complete with pieces called "ME" and "AUNT." At least I finished spinning all the paper.

P.S. - Takuji will be teaching in Japan at this printmaking program, which looks like heaven. I'm already wishing I was on my residency slated for next year!

Up and at 'em

I managed to get to bed earlier than usual last night to help mollify the 6:30am alarm this morning (Saturday). I had a big haul to Gangnam ("south of the river") to take a placement exam at the place where I will receive private tutoring in Korean starting in early Sept. My teacher is super on top of the issues that Korean Americans have, and has already laid out my course of study: basic grammar for the first 10 hours (1st week), families of words based on Chinese characters and how to use them, and minimal deciphering of texts in Korean on hanji. She said that no matter how much Korean I study, it won't help much while traveling b/c the dialects outside of Seoul can get almost impossible to understand, even for native Koreans. She explained one of the things I need to learn via the same issue for Koreans in English: they know lots of vocab, but not how to use the words. So, they know the meaning of "shower" but can only say, "DO shower, DO shower!" rather than "take a shower."

Other activities for the day:
- visiting my cousin and his wife and getting good advice on living with his father (my uncle); also getting a lead on housing
- video chat w/my sister
- more editing on the papermaking video
- Na Rae Kim's opening at Gallery Andante, and meeting the gallery owner
- noodles at a restaurant w/amazing chopsticks: they're metal but hollow!!! So they're super light. Exciting for those of us who have suffered through heavy metal chopsticks that dig into fingers and make hands tired.
- a phone call from the south with another artist to contact.

I still have not come up w/a solid performance to tape but am hoping it will come to me soon. We're in a fantastic respite from the heat (I actually woke up today and was cold!) so maybe my brain will return to pre-fried levels in time to create, perform, tape, and edit a new performance for a rapidly-approaching deadline.

Cameraless

I've been very, very bad about taking my camera when I go out. I mean, I just don't do it. So then I end up having to take other people's images off the web...this is the National Folk Museum in Seoul. I went today! Not part of the plan, but now it's crossed off of the list. I meant to go to a gallery in a totally different part of the city, but got on the wrong bus and then was too hot and flustered to figure out how to get on the right one, so I walked a while until I found a subway station, and went to a neighborhood I knew a little better. The museum is just so-so but still a good experience. It was strange to me b/c you just walk in, no tickets or checking bags or anything (free admission until Dec to celebrate the 60th anniversary of ROK), and you can take pictures in there! I almost fell over when I saw someone shooting a case. Very, very different from the typical American museum experience.

Roads were all messed up anyhow b/c they were blocking them off for parades and other celebrations: tomorrow is Independence Day. I saw some of the scariest scaffolding in progress in my life. Four men were in the middle of a street building a pretty narrow tower of scaffolding, no planks or anything, just the metal beams, and were already way above a traffic light when I walked by. No harnesses, no safety anything. I somehow managed to kill enough time and not fall over from the sun overexposure to meet my classmates for dinner: Mayumi and her new husband, Yuko, Aiju, and Kelsey. It was really nice to spend time w/them outside of class, despite the classic overeating and reeking of BBQ.

Yesterday I met my language exchange partner and got a peek at the offices of the psych grad students at Yonsei. We talked about her experiments with children and infants, since her focus now is on coordination and language development. She talked about how the brains of bilingual children are different from monolingual kids and I talked about how Americans never say things to each other that can be construed as impolite or offensive. She was surprised, thinking that Americans are more direct (this was about when people tell me that I'm fat). Hilarious, b/c it's sooooo the other way around.

It's late. A big weekend ahead.