New digs

This is the view from my new studio. That tall building was purposely built w/a big hole in its center, for feng shui purposes. There's a huge bookstore in its basement.

This is the view looking further...west? I think. I still have no sense of direction in Seoul. None, whatsoever.

This building is directly across from me and I've been fascinated by the construction progress inside. I'm VERY curious as to what will be moving into each of these floors.

Knitted ramie (how long has this gone on for?? I FINALLY finished the skein tonight. It's roughly 280cm long), and my new mp3 player.

This would be after I took a pseudo nap while listening to Daft Punk, after tutoring, before starting my homework. The good news: my cousin's wife booked a room for me at a serviced residence for Wed night. Just as good as a hotel...wait! I think it comes w/a washer/dryer. Wohoo! I was going to wash clothes by hand tomorrow but forget it, I'm doing laundry on my birthday. Which, for an American is very exciting, since regular people in Korea don't have dryers. I know, if Americans didn't use dryers, we could stop generating nuclear energy, but I miss doing laundry the wasteful, planet-killing American way.

This weekend was all drama, all exhaustion, getting dizzy from spinning my nephew around, ice cream after moving into my new studio, and dinner w/a fellow Fulbrighter. More like beer and some food on the side. I had another breakup this weekend that made me really sad but I like to think that I am learning. Today I worked with my tutor on locating contact info for people and places related to my research. If I get my nerve up tomorrow morning, I'm making calls.

This is today

One line, no transfers, thank goodness after not being able to sleep until past 2am (anxiety, frustration about being misunderstood b/c of language missteps).

Walking to the dentist thru a neighborhood that's usually bustling. I prefer this hour, when businesses haven't opened yet and the streets are quiet.

The dreaded dentist's office. After waiting about 2.5 hours and knitting a bunch, I got four teeth drilled w/o novocaine, but it went surprisingly well.

The view from the congee place I went to for lunch. I have no idea what this dude is selling, but he didn't have a lot of buyers.

My sister and I got socks from this vendor one night very late, right before she shut down shop.

The hotel my sister and bro-in-law stayed in when they were visiting.

Lunch! Slow Food style, since I'm only allowed to use the right side of my mouth. I'm home and just packed again: I'm moving my art stuff to a new location, which will be my temporary studio until further notice. All I can say is, my life as I know it could not be possible in ANY WAY w/o the incredible generosity of the people who have crossed my path thus far. It's pretty mind boggling.

This is not today

[My housemate's studio upstairs, the day I moved in.] I just mailed my re-application for an absentee ballot. I hope it all works out. The sun has taken a break and rain will probably come today. Last night, I was so wiped out after meeting Melissa (who also does Fight Therapy) that I made a quick spinach & tofu dinner and then went to bed at 7:45pm. So I feel a little saner now, ready for today's lunch date & tutoring, adjusting to the ants very slowly, unsure of what the weekend will bring. Clarity would be nice, and knitting progress would be even nicer.

Late nights

[The tree outside my new crash pad; the villa is built around it.] Yesterday was a classic example of me, out of my mind. I had to rush back to my family's home to pick up a letter rejecting my absentee ballot app and now I'm fighting w/a terrible Korean Windows machine that won't open a pdf so I can print a new one. Just let me vote already!!! I had lunch w/my aunt, ran out to mail art and rush to the subway, only to realize I left my Korean notebook at my family's place, so I had to rush BACK, and call my tutor to tell her I'd be late. After venting and learning a new set of irregular verbs, I took a long walk to figure out how one neighborhood hooks up with others, hopped a bus, and landed in a coffeeshop w/hot tea to transcribe notes before meeting Hyesun for dinner. Then I hopped another bus to my cousin's house to babysit. We had drinks when her husband got home from work at around 12:30am and now I know for certain that I hate Budweiser.

I meet an American artist today at a sweet tea house. Until then I need to hydrate and maybe do some homework. Still shirking research while marveling at my split personality - I'm a total homebody, but my social calendar is always booked solid. My big plan for my birthday next week is to book a hotel room for a night so that I can be ALONE. No worrying about being a burden on my family or anyone else's.

Hook Pottery Paper Fall Sale in Indiana!

From Andrea, my first papermaking teacher:

Hook Pottery Paper 11th annual fall sale
October 16 - 19, 10am - 4pm.
756 W 900 NLa Porte, IN 46350
Come see the new work produced this summer and fall.
Visit the website: www.hookpotterypaper.com

Teacup challenge
Everybody likes a little challenge: if you email this notice to your friends and 10 come by and purchase a delectable item and mention your name, we will send you a teacup. So email away and thanks in advance!

Weirdness

I've moved. The home and neighborhood are lovely but of course it'll take a while for me to feel settled. Actually, I won't ever feel that way; I know in my heart that this is a pit stop and I'll be on the road again. I just don't know exactly when and where. I talked w/my roommate about it today over a late lunch, the fate of itinerant artists. Maybe I still haven't accepted that fate. I like to think I am just moving around a lot b/c I am really picky but once I've found the right place, I'll know where home is.

In case of itinerancy

Before I forget (I load the car in 20 min), here is one address that remains constant until July 5, 2009:

Aimee Lee
c/o Korean-American Educational Commission
Fulbright Building
168-15 Yomni-dong, Mapo-gu
Seoul 121-874
South Korea

All fan mail, love letters, mail art, electronic dictionaries (this is the sole item on my bday wish list - an English/Korean one) can be sent this way. I don't LIVE here, which I hope deters any potential stalkers.

An issue of overabundance

I have to do my reading homework and then last-minute packing. I was so out of it that I didn't go to the bank today to see how much Fulbright took away from my monthly stipend (I'm tempted to ask for it in US dollars b/c their exchange rate is so much worse than the going rate). I realize that my stress comes from an overabundance of things, not from scarcity. I am here b/c I was awarded a grant. I didn't take their housing b/c of an overabundance of bugs and chemical fumigation. I had a few different options for alternate housing b/c people, ranging from strangers to family, were willing to put me up. I'm stressed out b/c I'm trying to be an artist and a researcher and a language student at the same time (while normal researchers only do one of those things). My family stresses about me b/c they care about me. And so on.

I was named Aimee, which is the female adjectival form of the French word aimer, to love. Which makes me beloved. I have spent my whole life fighting people so that they would spell it correctly (which, btw, seems to be a total impossibility in this country), but still won't own its meaning. I get so much love and somewhere along the way learned that I don't deserve it, so I throw it all back along with whatever else I can muster up. I have never learned to receive graciously. But if I don't, I'll definitely lose the rest of my hair.

Here is a video of the papermaker who said women can't pull paper b/c they're too weak. Seeing his technique, I understand what he's saying, b/c his formation style is very vigorous. I still think I could do it if I did some weight training first.

Coming down; mail love

My mom leaves in about half an hour to return to NY. I just got the sweetest little drawings from my grad school papermaking teacher's sons, and a lovely assortment of things from Velma in the mail. Good timing. I move tomorrow afternoon. Packing was depressing but also gave me that old familiar feeling again. I do this too much. I have a feeling I'll be doing this in Korea just as much as I did before. So much for being in one place for a year. Ellie must be right about something getting into my blood and not being able to stay in one place for very long.

In the meantime, I finally got pictures up.

Here are pics from my family trip down south.
Here are pics from the hanji festival in Wonju.

I have a lot of work cut out for me this week, including meeting new people and severing some ties. I'm almost positive that half the hair on my head has fallen out due to Korea stress. It's SO INTENSE.

A bunch of geeks

Here is most of the boatload of 2008-2009 Fulbright grantees in Korea: junior and senior researchers, plus a few higher-ups from the office and the US embassy. I'll leave it to you to guess who's who and where the crazy artists are (from our intro dinner on Sept 26).

Body talk

[paper flowers in Wonju.] I'm heartsick. It's especially bad b/c I'm SICK sick on top of it so I feel like hell. Right before I said goodbye to my sister and bro-in-law today, I got an email from my dad in NY that my absentee ballot app was rejected. AGH. I think I forgot to fill in a line that said when I'd be out of town. TOTAL DRAG. Anyhow, I don't know how I made it through the day on compounded lack of sleep for the last 10 days or more, but I managed to see three rooms all over town. Definitely a few moments of horror. Now I know that I'd rather sacrifice living alone over living in the equivalent of a jail cell (that I would die in if there ever was a fire since there are no escape routes).

I think I'm taking the room w/the artist I just met a couple days ago. The house is built around a 600-year-old tree. I like to think it might give me a little stability since I've been completely uprooted from my routine, studies, and research. I realized today that this awful bereft and empty feeling comes from not being able to make any work or even pretend to do so. Living in this marriage-sodden culture reinforces the "married to your work" ethic for me. Being away from it has drained the life out of me.

Gasping for air

[Paper pieces by children at the Wonju Hanji festival last weekend.] I'm woefully behind, and have spent lots and lots of time w/my sis and her husband. Last night, I got piss drunk over Cass (Korean beer) and Korean-style fried chicken, and now I'm getting sick. The all too familiar sore throat has kicked in.

[Dak bark hanging and frames for pulling paper at the festival.] I spent another night in the hotel and it nearly killed me. It's hard living in such a densely-populated and polluted city. I've sacrificed my foot for fashion but yesterday had a great meeting w/a gallery owner and two other artists. Turns out that I had emailed one but she never got my email!! We are living similar lives right now, except that she wants to get out of Korea to do art and I came here to try. She offered her place to stay in, which is in a faboo location, but I'm first going to check out the TINY studio that my mom found for me today. If I can handle how small it is, we'll put down the money tomorrow and I can move immediately. If not...I'll have to consider one artist's home or another.

Tonight I saw the Han River, which cuts thru the city. I still feel overwhelmed and could use a breakdown but don't have the time. I'm also on the verge of another inappropriate friendship with someone I've met four times. But, OH!!! I nearly forgot. The lifesaver in the midst of this crazy time: Anish Kapoor. Yesterday before the gallery meeting, I went to Kukje Gallery (their "new space") to catch the tail end of his solo exhibit. I walked into the main gallery on the first floor and almost wept. It wasn't just the first piece (whose optical illusion TOTALLY tricked me), it was the fact that the gallery was built slightly below ground, with a huge door that slides open to reveal a gorgeous garden. It was like a vision of what I want my life to look like. At least, my home life (if I ever freaking get to have a home). I also saw Rhee Ki Bong's solo show at their regular space, and the first piece ALSO slayed me: two books in a huge blue tank of water, being propelled around the tank, floating and falling, by a forced current. It was perfection.

Death and OCTOBER

I have no idea what this is. All I know is that it comes from the sea, and it was at the fish market in Busan. I think I ate it when I took my beach trip months ago here, but I really don't know what I was eating.

This was from dinner after our grandfather's death rites. I'm posting food upon Sudha's request for a food blog. I am NOT going to start a food blog, and I already feel guilty enough b/c a dear friend insisted before I came here that I keep him updated on food in Seoul but I can't be bothered, since that involves toting around a camera and remembering to shoot. I'm usually way too hungry to do that.

[I did all the flour for what's out on the table.] Anyhow, I have been A COMPLETE LOON for the past week+. I don't know what day it is, or what month it is (and being born in October, I usually am aware of when it starts, but not this time). My inbox is swelling and I have not had any time to bat it down. I spent last night in my sister's hotel room and was a disaster today during tutoring (but now have a GREAT story about Eddie Murphy and a Korean dude in an elevator), and am still totally unsure about my future housing.

My horoscope says "Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future." That would mean that I should go live w/the complete stranger, rather than crash w/a cousin or find a room that would fit my ass and maybe a suitcase. I have NO IDEA. All I know lately:

1. Eric let me know that our 11th grade American history teacher passed away. Mr. Tucker used to tell us that we would get automatic As for the year if we got a letter to the editor published in the NY Times. I studied instead. HAHAA. His was the first class where I started to really understand feminism, believe it or not. He also had a serious thermos habit (I'm sure that was a COFFEE habit, but I didn't know about coffee addiction when I was 15), which for some reason was very reassuring and comforting to me.

2. My sister and her husband just extended their stay for a couple of days since they want more time in Seoul. We've been shopping a lot.

3. Apparently, I went from hyper fashion conscious (again, when I was 15 and thereabouts) to total schlub (mother condemns Oberlin for this), and my family is concerned. Thus, I now have a new pair of dress shoes. I've been too busy sorting out what a new Fulbrighter called my "spiritual journey" to sort out my fashion journey, but I think it involves a serious commitment to studio work, a 3-year stint in the midwest, poverty or the scarcity mentality, an attempt to take myself completely off the dating market, and just the sheer joy of wearing the same clothes every day.

4. I'm going to burst if I don't see some good art soon. Which means I really want to see some Anish Kapoor and Bill Viola before the shows come down.

5. I made it to the old tea house that a friend of Shir Ly's recommended!!! It rocked my world yesterday. My new fave tea here is citron.

6. I might never go to sleep before 2am. I have new bangs.

7. All the research backing up right now makes me want to cry. Generally, the burden of my life that I have created makes me want to cry. Of course, I don't have time to cry, which increases the burden, and all of this seems inadequate in English, but I don't have all the vocab/grammar to do it in Korean.

8. The stress must be getting to me b/c all I want to do anymore is drink beer. I know, so NOT what I ever do. But it's what I did tonight (which is why I can't sleep now).