I had planned to work all day Saturday but after indulging myself at the farmers market, couldn't bear to stay inside when it seemed the whole world was outside and gleeful. So I rode into town and met my sister and her husband to dawdle in and out of stores and watch a movie, "Moneyball." Then ambling up to Koreatown for food, and home before late. All the acting like a regular person enjoying the weekend put me to bed with slight vertigo, for no reason I could surmise, but I woke up without it this morning. After lazy Sunday reading (a huge Korean history book), I took a LONG midday nap, which is uncharacteristic, where I dreamed about drying hanji. After more reading, a haircut! Tonight, a week-early birthday dinner w/an old friend, who was my teacher.
Yesterday morning, I wondered about why I am a generation (or more) younger than so many of my close friends. Was I was born at the wrong time or am I again refusing to act my age? I thought as a pre-adolescent that I'd be able to skip adolescence after reading about how terrible it was. That backfired, I actually delayed my adolescence, and now am way behind where I "should" be, developmentally. Yet for years, I have been reading about death and dying, about preparing for old age and the end of life, and I wonder if I'm again trying to skip a decade or three. I spend so much time hearing about menopause that I sometimes think my symptoms are related, even though they are most certainly not.
This last trip to Cleveland at least made me feel like an adult in a few ways: being sick enough but having to work, so succumbing to buying OTC drugs, gaining more confidence when backing out of driveways, and remembering every time before it's too late to turn off the headlights when I park the car. And, this weekend, letting myself have a weekend!