Friday, May 06, 2011

Added pressure

This was from one of the final projects. I love that she reused a word that I had assigned her early on in the semester; it's like she brought everything full circle. I can't believe how tired and verge of sick that I feel--all semester I felt I was somehow skirting fate by staying relatively healthy but wow! It's a profound fatigue. Today was my final trip to campus, and a tricky commute: a walk to the bus stop with 1. comforter loaned by my boss, 2. heavy box of books on my back to ship, 3. heavy box of books on my shoulder to ship, and 4. heavy banker's box of final projects to return to students. I rode two stops to walk to the post office, ship, redistribute weight, walk to another bus stop, and ride to school. There was a heinous sound destroying any semblance of calm b/c massive tree surgery was underway, which was disturbing. I hate seeing men in chainsaws with enormous pieces of trunks. But I managed to make labels for two books, pack up the rest of my things, deposit student work into individual drawers, bid farewell to the studio manager with a gift and last-minute binding lesson, and return all of my keys. Then I visited Moya for a final chat in the library.

The heat has not been fun, but I lazed out, read in bed, and felt generally too tired to do anything until it was time to meet Patsy and her brother and nephew. She was in my Seattle workshop a few weeks back and happened to be flying into Oakland this afternoon, so we had a great time over sushi, pizza, and ice cream. Really! All three. And I was full after the first stop! We talked a lot about Korean culture, marketing, goals, weaknesses, and then my role as hanji ambassador. It reminded me of so many things that I had learned and encountered in Korea, and made me so thankful for all of "the elders" and generations before me. At our last stop, Patsy's brother put his hand on my shoulder and pressed down, to make real the weight that I was carrying, which had only gotten heavier over the night. A real burden of responsibility. But better me, since I hate when people don't take responsibility, right? So I'm taking the first step of taking care of my body: to sleep!

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