Return, loss, seeding anew

This was one of the first pictures I took after landing in the Netherlands, riding to Leiden, finding my hotel and dumping luggage, and walking into quiet morning mist when every touristy thing was closed. I could finally breathe, smile, and appreciate ducks in a canal. I've pulled back from blogging, e-blasts, the like, to divert energy to mundane things that include studio work, housework, family time, and caregiving. I am also feeling life shifts, like where do I actually want to put my energy as opposed to what I "should" do for my "career." And body shifts, because I simply can't do as much I could (aka, no more overload!).

I'll post separately about my vacation, the first time in maybe forever that I was separated for a week from my computer (my main means of admin as I hate using a phone for that type of work). It felt great! But then I came home to be shocked by the terrible news that pneumonia recently killed Chandler O'Leary. I don't think I've ever been so unprepared for loss; I first thought it was a cruel joke when I saw the listserv post that combined her name and "passing." I can't remember exactly when we met, maybe 10 years ago? While we were not close, she had a way of making everyone feel completely included and wonderful and present. She was the first to tell me about RISD's Nature Lab, and always generous with her time and advice in emails that ranged from "what kind of DSLR do you have" to "how do you deal with admin without help??" Her holiday cards were a buoy in the madness of the season—brilliant, beautiful, and festive in a genuine way. I followed her blog and have been a huge fan of her collaboration with Jessica for years, which I own in different iterations and use consistently in the classroom. Her public art was thoughtful, effective, and different from the usual, and the pace with which she made unique trade books astonishing. It is devastating to have to accept that she is now herself a Dead Feminist.

I "should" activate more with this reminder of how short life is, but instead I felt like I was slapped in the face and consequently mad. All I can do for now is give what little I can to the fundraiser to support her husband and 4-yo son (this is the heartbreaking part). Later, I will check in with Jessica to see how else I can help after the immediate shock has subsided.

While I was away, I got another request from Dohee Lee, someone I really admire and have also seen flower in an incredible way over many, many years, to support a Korean American farmer, Kristyn Leach. The video showing her persistent labor makes it clear why I would support farming and seed cultivation in this way, and especially in having her own her own land to continue.

I hope you can support these two incredible women and their legacies. Even if not in dollars, spread the word.

Chandler O'Leary tribute (her FAQs are so...her)

The Nature Lab

Jessica Spring

Dead Feminists

Support Chandler's family

Dohee Lee

Support Kristyn Leach/Gohyang Seed Campus