Thursday, August 31, 2006

Timing death

I took a Benadryl at 2:15am today to try and ease my allergies. I woke up at 5:30am, nearly suffocating b/c I could not breathe at all through my nose. I slept propped up until about 8:30am to let my sinuses drain, and then had a really good session of yoga, which focused me for a good session w/my sketchbook (I think yesterday's making of mail for Gili was a prep for this), which then put me in a great mood to go to Grand Island w/Jami. We got a ton done: coffee @ the truck stop (Jami), dress from the Salvation Army (Jami), errands at Ace for the farm, produce from the farmer's market, drooling all over the western boots place (Jami got amazing Wranglers; we both coveted the pink vest, pink cowboy boots, and pink rhinestone-studded belt. I gawked at hats and saddles, too), getting burgers at Ruby Tuesday (bison for me), and errands at Sun Mart (they had soy milk and wasa!!! But not much else).

I was so excited and energized, and got home to take a nice shower. But then I got a super sad email from my friend Eric about the sudden passing of his fiancee's mom, Linda. It threw me into a new perspective. I made a card for Jenny and will leave it for the mailman tomorrow. I've been sitting here for hours, looking at different residencies. It seems like such an unreal life, these options. I can't tell what's going to happen next, and I guess we never CAN, which is what I'm supposed to learn. It's super windy here on the farm and very sunny. Last night I had dreams of 1. being tricked into eating at a fast food place, 2. being pregnant and not even thinking about abortion until my mom brought it up as a bad option b/c of all the scarring and physical complications, 3. having surgery, and 4. being lost. The night before, I dreamed I found a $50 bill and it got passed along until it made it to Lucinda Williams, who was performing for about five people in the back room of some dive bar.

"sometimes, you never really know"

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am hunger

AND I'm hungry. This morning started out well: got up earlier b/c I opened all my shades so the sun blinds me, figured out a better yoga spot, and then took two trips to the mailbox after making lots of custom mail for Gili. I also made these two books after Ed chopped down the wood for the covers.

But I got NO "work" done on my computer (applications and such) and also ate way too much PB&J triscuits and a HUGE pot of ramen noodles. Which reminds me, I think I want a lot more. Oh, but at least I had fresh mint tea from the garden, though I had to fight the bugs for the mint. I've spent about 4.5 hours today on the computer, trying to do web revamping stuff for my work exchange, but of course, the computer crashed HARD b/c of my music or something, so I had to take an hours-long break in between work sessions. Now I can barely see. And I'm hungry again. More PB&J? Maybe...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Fast facts


I know. My Photoshop "skills" are laughable. But clearly, I'm in a procrastinating kind of mood (I have this goal of finishing up all my "loose ends" this week, which include about five applications, even though I don't have enough slides for all of them). I managed to get some sleep even though nights in my cupola bedroom are very cold now. I've added some more pictures to the landscape shots around here.

Fun facts that I've learned since I've arrived:
1. Putting off a shower for three days makes the shower THAT much more satisfying.
2. It's better to walk 2.5 miles instead of 4 (I mean, who are we trying to impress here? The huge rolls of alfalfa? The corn rows? The three-car garage down on N Road?)
3. Assasin bugs have beaks to kill other bugs. They also really like hanging out in my bed.
4. Mosquito populations skyrocketed after the invention of these awful farm irrigation systems that pump out tons and tons of water, which just pools on the ground. And I thought sprinklers were bad.
5. The best way to discard plastic is to bury it.
6. Just b/c you survive a smoking book and drill press session, doesn't mean that you'll avoid almost chopping off your finger while cutting peaches (thank god for violin callouses).
7. I could easily eat bags and bags of tortilla chips daily.
8. Linseed oil-covered rags will probably spontaneously combust.
9. Bugs around here have so much to eat outside that leaving food and crumbs out isn't a huge issues (doesn't matter - even if it was spotless in here, they'd still rule the roost).
10. Jami named two of the three chickens: Truman Capote and Princess Fluffypants.
11. This is my housecleaning art so far: things I'm making to get rid of things and clear my head/space before getting to the "real thing."
12. Scrubbing the toilet and shower to a cleaner state makes for a happier resident.
13. "Everything here is so rich." -Jami
14. Buffalo gnats will go for your eyes and ears.
15. "I feel confused." -cranky Jami on a dreary day
16. I will send you mail if you send me mail: Art Farm, 1306 W 21st Road, Marquette, NE 68854
17. I am performing here during the Art Harvest on October 27: book your flight now!
18. "Dreams are more vivid here." -Jami [which reminds me, I've been told in my dreams that I should travel the world and go to operas in different countries. Does every culture even DO opera??]

So excited, so tired

1. Blogger, stop trying to bully me into beta. There's a reason it's BETA. Just like why I don't buy first generation computers, okay?
2. I feel SO lucky to have such good friends. You guys keep me going like nothing else. I just wanted to say that. Esp those of you who have been showing up in my dreams to help me out.
3. These are the korean mosquito repellent devices. The coils are an old throwback to the "good old days" - I remember using them when we were on a family trip to the country. They smell like a certain plant in Korea, and the dude who sold them to my sis in K-town in NYC said that it makes skeeters dizzy. The other fancy plug in thing is probably TOTALLY scary and toxic, but who cares, b/c it SO works!! NO bugs come near me in bed now. Rock on. [p.s. to Gili: my bro-in-law joked about sending Astoria ghetto mosquitoes out to battle Nebraska ones.]

I feel like there was a LOT that happened since my last post, but is that even true? I dunno. I've finished reading Which Brings Me to You, which Jami lent me, by Steve Almond & Julianna Baggott, and am in the middle of the 1st half of Birdmen, Batmen, and Skyflyers by Michael Abrams. Today, I managed to get myself up earlier and do some laundry. We don't have a functional dryer at the main barn, and it was threatening to rain (AND, for as much of an exhibitionist that I am, I am surprisingly loathe to hang all of my laundry outside for the world to see [the world being the director and one other resident here]), so I took it over to the farmhouse, where you have to babysit the dryer. Mind you, I did try to set up the drying rack outside. I just couldn't. Yes, pathetic. Yes, my muscles must be atrophying from lack of exercise/yoga.

Oh, now I remember what was so exciting: I helped Jami w/this book that she has to alter for an auction in Omaha!! We decided to drill a big hole through it, as a joke. The book: Tom Wolfe's A Man In Full. The cover was already scary to start with: once I removed the library clear jacket off the regular sleeve of the hardback, we realized that there was a hole thru the O in Tom, which showed an eye. The naked cover had a huge man on it, winking. Creepy. Anyhow, I got to work the big drill press! W/the biggest bit ever. I mean, the biggest bit I've ever used (1 1/4"?). I also decided not to shower, which is also exciting. Ed finally installed a lightbulb AND a handrail on my stairs, so I am less likely to die on the way to & from my bedroom loft. Finally, my most exciting part of the day: I rode into Lincoln again tonight, and walked around to the Haymarket district, which is cute. I had two scoops of homemade ice cream (this is called their "small") - Dutch chocolate & peanut butter fudge brownie, and then wandered in circles before finally getting up the nerve to eat alone in a restaurant. I knew I needed red meat, so I went to Fireworks and braved a vanilla porter (brewed there. YUM) and then a huge burger (also YUM). Then, when I thought I'd only be getting a check, my server (the name on the receipt was Regina. The woman who brought me food was Angel. They were BOTH angels) arrives with an ENORMOUS hot chocolate cake, bigger than the burger, w/two scoops of ice cream. OMG. She said it was b/c I came from the "big city" (she had IDed me - I still have my NY license), or no - b/c I came from the FARM to visit the "city" so it was their treat. Way too nice. I thought I was going to puke about 1/3 of the way thru b/c I had already had all the other food. But it was all just so sweet.

Then I walked back to campus - University of Nebraska, Lincoln, and found a good public bathroom in the student union, since I didn't want to pee in Ed's car on the drive back. I felt like such a college student again. I was thinking, my god, I'm pretty long gone from college, but I still LOOK like I could be there. But I guess I shouldn't complain, if it lets me wander campuses and use their bathrooms. Though I was also thinking of the "got a little pot in my belly" line from Erykah Badu. Okay, I'm delirious now from being tired, freezing (it's getting COLD here), and still having a bloody nose. I'll post a link to more pictures tomorrow once I get them all straightened out.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Peaches and mint

I made three books yesterday. I refused to actually get dressed until probably about 4pm. Who knows; I don't keep track of time well, so I missed the potato digging lesson and was very late for Jami's peach pie w/vanilla ice cream. But that's what happens when I allow myself to sleep in until about 11:30am. Lately, my sleep has been very on and off; I wake up every two hours for no good reason, except to possibly die again by falling down the stairs while descending to pee.

Jami also moved into her new room, which looks GREAT. The curtains aren't great, but I think they're pretty good for me (not a seamstress) and the machine (broken). Today, I had two nosebleeds (allergies are kicking my ass), and realized that maybe part of my health issues here are related to being dehydrated. But I got a package yesterday from my sister w/Korean mosquito repellent (2 kinds!) and today finally finished the print "collaborative" that I've been promising Jeremy I'd finish. Once my camera batteries are charged up, you'll see them. B/c I had to clean up all my ink w/kerosene, I went to the burn barrel and burned all of my trash immediately. On the way back home, I picked some mint from the garden. Mmm.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Attitude adjustments

Last night was very difficult; very little sleep. Too hot, too buggy, stayed up too late reading about people trapped in the Andes for 72 days and then felt like I was in survival mode, too. So I was kind of a mess when Jami came to pick me up to go to Grand Island. Our search for a good breakfast went bust, but we found some good things at Goodwill (like this dress) and had killer tacos from a mural-covered drive thru. We just finished painting the trim and doors this afternoon; hopefully we can move the furniture back in and get the room to liveable very soon. It's cooling, but I'm freaked out b/c it will likely rain, which to me no longer means cooler weather and less allergies. It means LOTS of mosquitoes.

I'm frustrated right now (though the meat in the taco and some serious peanut butter helped - I've been really weak the past few days and I think it might be a protein deficiency) w/my days. I don't feel productive or motivated to do anything. I still haven't checked my credit card statement b/c I just can't deal. I wish I could just accept the bugs and not fight so hard to not get bitten, but 1. my body is discomforted easily and 2. I have a hard time working when my body is in discomfort. I keep thinking about how Shawn told me I wasn't allowed to complain at all about being here. And I'm not; I'm just getting to know myself better. Like these facts about my survival essentials:

1. plenty of sound sleep (8.5 hours being ideal, but I think I can do 7 if I get a 12-hour night once a week)
2. well-balanced & well-timed meals (as much as I wish I could be a vegetarian, I have to have meat at least once or twice a week)
3. regular exercise (1 to 1.5 hrs/day) and meditation (at least 15 min/day)

Hm. Writing that out just calmed me down. Those aren't too unreasonable.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hot and itchy

Okay, so hopefully this will work. We've been having major internet connectivity issues lately. But our coping mechanisms are pretty good. Jami has been making lots of things w/too much sugar. Yesterday, she made chocolate chip cookies. I didn't eat any dinner, but I had a lot of cookies. And that was on top of the leftover pie I polished off yesterday. Talk about sugar crashes. This is my view from my roof, so you can see the barn that died in a storm, and beyond that the red barn where I'm going to perform. [the building I live in is actually four barns put together.]

Today, I woke up all dizzy again. I don't know why, b/c the only manual labor I did was sweep and vacuum a very dusty room that Jami will move into, in the farmhouse. I was up really late, though, fighting w/the internet connection, to get a pdf of the poster I did for Jami's reading, which will be here on Sept 7. I was pretty proud of my use of minimal Indesign skills, though, and in the end, we ended up w/something that can't deny my formal training in yearbook layouts from Herff Jones. [embarrassing fact of the day: I was editor-in-chief, and started the "tradition" of going to yearbook CAMP, in Gettysburg, and even came home w/some kind of prize for doing such good layouts. According to formula.] But after reading, minimal yoga/meditation, I actually sat down and bound a book. It's not great, but I finally made something!

My task for Jami's new room is to sew curtains. So I went to the farmhouse today, which I think is the FIRST time I've actually been outside during the day here (I probably got sunburnt; it's bright today). I stopped at the garden and got a few tomatoes, and also stole some eggs from Jami's fridge (she's the chicken keeper), and then took measurements for the curtains. They're going to have chickens and chicks on them! Brilliant. Can't wait to see how this sewing machine works. My legs are all itchy now, though, from walking through grass.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stadium lights

Ed finally just last night showed me how to operate them (switches right above the sink) - these are real stadium lights! Whoa, bright. They're way high in the studio space, and will probably come in handy when it gets colder and I'm not so scared about attracting bugs. A huge bee/wasp thing is now inside my studio, which doesn't make me very comfortable, but I shamelessly just ate the rest of Jami's apple pie, so I'm a little drugged from the sugar. I'm working on a poster for her reading, and having a hard time w/Indesign. Any experts out there?? I just need to add a little hot pink, but I can't get any color.

I think the loudest cricket in the world has now moved to my shower area (which also has a plastic snake above it). I'm going to start reading The Grace that keeps this World by Tom Bailey now, and pretend that I don't have to do manual labor in less than an hour.

Technical difficulties and mosquitews

Blogger is not letting me post pictures very easily. I've been fighting w/it since yesterday. So this is all I have for now - the huge red lit-up clock in my studio. I recommend visiting Jami's site for much better pictures of all the art here and the landscape. My suitcase arrived yesterday! It was kind of great but also kind of sad to have all my stuff. Now I have no excuse not to make art. But it was also just nice to realize that I was perfectly able to survive w/o all the crap I own.

Meanwhile, I'm still being eaten alive out here. Sheesh. I went out last night w/Ed to Lincoln, and was able to meet up w/the father of an old friend who is in Japan. That was fun. I felt like I was cheating, though, being out in the city and having dinner in a restaurant and being in A/C. The nights have been cool, but I'm making myself almost sick by having a fan blow on me in hopes that it will blow away the mosquitoes. No use. They still buzz in my ears and then I have violent spasms in futile attempts to kill them. I have killed one, though, b/c there's a blood stain on my pillow. When I got home last night, I sat down for maybe a minute, and they bit me at least five times. So brutal! My hands, my face, everything.

Anyhew. I also kind of feel like having the internet so accessible (in my studio!) is cheating. I'm just going to have to get a lot more structured and not let myself be on it all the time. Yesterday a.m., I woke up feeling drugged, so I ran out and did the four-mile walk. OMG. I'm surprised I'm not sore...it's the perimeter of the "blocks" here (the square between 20th and 21st roads, and between N and O roads). Each gravel-lined side is a mile long. It's like walking from Columbia University to NYU, only longer. But at least I did it. The other exciting piece of news is that my nail clipper came w/the suitcase, so now I can FINALLY play violin like a normal person. I also finally did some yoga and meditation this a.m. Today...I think I'll work on Jami's press release for a reading she'll do here, play some violin, look at what I need to finish some more applications, and try to keep myself from itching all my bites.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Quickie

I asked Ed to show me how to get to the very, very top of my room - you climb a scary ladder, use yr arms to climb up onto a plank or two, and open the roof. AMAZING. The highest point here, and beautiful views. We stayed up there for three hours, I think. Who knows. The sun set. I'm slowing down - read another book today, and am loving all the reading time. I almost don't want my suitcase to show up tomorrow b/c then I have no excuse not to work. But it's great here...Ed made us pancakes and bacon today. YUM. Jami insists we finish her apple pie. Last night was cold and this a.m. was foggy. I have a new gesture to start my performance. I'm playing violin a bunch.

Ah.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

"One big love"

is stuck in my head (Emmylou Harris). Too bad I don't have it here. I feel much calmer now. Jami's right: dreams here are much more vivid. Last night I dreamed I bumped into an ex-friend, and was filled w/dread. I showed him a huge, beautiful book that I had made, called "Friends." It was HUGE. A hard cover, big white block letters for the title against a grey cityscape, and then just a whole book about all of my friends. Each chapter was a different one, and they would start the same: pink letterpressed wood type (Cheltenham was the typeface) w/the name, and then just non-paragraphed stories about them. He was hoping he was in the book, but he wasn't. I felt awful the whole time, but also amazed by the book. I kept thinking, "OMG. Did *I* make this book??? It's so gorgeous!"

This morning was soooo luxurious: I sat in a rocking chair in my loft bedroom, the highest point on Art Farm (besides the very top: if you climb a ladder way up to the top and open the roof, you can see the Platte River. I haven't done it yet but promise I will, and w/my camera so you believe me), and just read until noon. I read Jami's book, Instant Love, and had green tea from mom. She's making pie today and we will indulge in an hour or so. Four boxes came via UPS yesterday! So now I have a few more clothes and underwear, shoes, soap, floss, spices, seeds, and ART SUPPLIES. Thank goodness. I was worried that I'd just be either naked or wearing the dirtiest clothing for the entire weekend, reading books that Jami's editor sent to the farm, eating bland food.

I got bitten last night on my finger and chin, and got to see the lighting travel across the land and then a bout of rain. Ed did a short tour of the farm and all the great outdoor art, but we had to stop b/c it got so dark. Though I also love the darkness, and trying to make my way with night vision. The best news: I've already picked my site for what I'll work on here. It's AMAZING. An old red barn, on higher supports so that it's sitting off the ground, with air spaces everywhere since it's mostly skeleton on top. As you might have imagined, I want to HANG inside the space. I have to take my violin inside and see how that feels, too. But regardless, it's magical in there. Ed said that I lit up and came alive as soon as we ducked under and were in the space. Eventually, the barn will get filled in and be the art gallery. But for now, it's my haunt!

Time to unpack some more. I can't wait until the camera comes w/my suitcase on Monday.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Running on nothing

WHew.

I'm here!!! In Marquette, Nebraska. Right now, it's very hot in my studio and I have barely anything here b/c I had major drama yesterday: I was SO careful about everything, packing, leaving Tam's apt in good order, etc., and then I LOCKED MYSELF OUT w/three of my four bags. The fourth, biggest, and most important suitcase, was sitting in front of her front door. I was trapped in between the two glass doors in her entryway. I even tried to use a credit card (no, my old student ID) on the lock to break in, but alas...I had to go to Midway w/o it. And the worst part is that I probably had enough time to get the key from Tam at work and then go back, but I was so spooked by how long the security lines were @ Midway on the way to NYC, that I just booked it. OF COURSE, there was no line, and no problems w/security. I then proceeded to use up most of my dad's phone card on a pay phone to try and call friends to complain. Luckily, I got my sister's husband, who talked me down really well and told me not to get too upset w/myself, and told me a story about how he once got locked into a basement and had to sleep there overnight.

So.

This is great: Ed picked me up at the Omaha airport. On the way out, I hear someone yell my name. I figure, "NO ONE knows me in Omaha," so I didn't stop. Then I hear, "AIMEE!!!" again, and finally turn around to see Dustin, one of my students from Ox-Bow!!! INSANE. Hilarious! It was great. So nice to see a friendly face in such a random place. We drove around Omaha, and then to Lincoln for some organic coop supplies (whoa expensive, though...in comparison, city dwellers have it SO easy), and then around Lincoln and off to the farm. I have nothing, b/c it was all in the suitcase, so today when Jami took me to the grocery store, I went obscenely dressed in a cut up tank top and really old short shorts. I got eaten by mosquitoes last night already, but the bedroom is heavenly. Great breeze, great view, way on top of a barn. I'd post photos, but my camera was in the suitcase that got left behind. What a pain in my ass. I'm now just using whatever soap the last resident left and being gross in general.

Okay, better run, b/c my power cord for my computer was ALSO in the suitcase. So I must conserve energy.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I still run myself too hard

Five boxes are now in UPS's hands; one home and four to Nebraska. I still have inordinate amounts of luggage I'm taking tomorrow, but that's just the way it goes. I did two loads of laundry, had both UPS guys be very helpful in my packing/shipping process (explaining the artmaking on a farm thing is always fun), and ran around a lot between Tam's apt, her basement unit, and the dumpster.

I feel awful, but have to head to school: I finally made this silly little "materials board" of how I made my bricks, for a show that goes up in Chicago when I'm away. I know, it's SO 7th-grade poster project. But it's about the best I can do right now, and I'd rather this than NOTHING, besides my chunk of wall that goes in the show. I'm tempted to take another nap, but am afraid I won't make it to school before they close (due to my irrational anxiety; I never oversleep like that. But I always worry that I will).

It feels good to have all that crap gone, but putting all my CDs into case logics last night was really difficult for me. I've held out for over a decade, but the jewel cases finally all had to go. I couldn't tell if I was pushing myself too far, but maybe it'll be good for me. I mean, I have to accept this rootless lifestyle that I've chosen. I also realize that my intense, lifelong desire to own very little material goods is sometimes just as bad as being a rampant materialist. YAwn. It's also funny that I can only take care of myself properly when my outer mom is around to force me to stay in bed.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Reluctant traveler

This is the shirt I got in a swap @ the art fair last last weekend in exchange for one of my longstitches, from Erik Hoff, who runs Dirty Bird Printing. I know, my visuals are so not related to anything now that I'm away from my Canon. But I'll be back in Chicago tonight (weather, TSA, and ATA willing), where I will probably freak out immediately and try to start packing, and then Tam will have to talk me down and tell me I should just have some ice cream and then sleep so I can pack tomorrow.

I just sent a little package to myself today from NY b/c I figured, why lug it to Chicago just so I can mail it from there? But I am quite concerned about how I'm going to get all my crap over there...I'm starting to wonder if it's just foolish thinking to take my entire stereo system. I should probably just buy a boombox or something. Or maybe not. Hm. [See? This is my "decision-making" process, and just about ONE item. Other things I worry about: my Bragg's liquid aminos, what container I should put my sesame seeds in, how I'm going to pick which slides I take w/me, what art supplies/materials I'm taking, and how many vitamins I need. Never wonder again why I can't sleep at night.]

All I want to do is crawl up on the couch at home, watch a movie, and eat peaches.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Relaxing in NY

Here I am, next door to my parents' home, in the public library. I LOVE THIS LIBRARY. I landed in NY yesterday and arrived home, very pleased w/the hardwood floors (my family tore up the carpet recently), and incredibly happy to have mom's cooking. I slept for about 12 hours (well, there was a lot of scratching in between), and woke up comatose and insanely sore. SO SORE!

Sorry for the absence online again - I moved on Tuesday evening. Tuesday a.m. was heavenly w/two back-to-back yoga classes. Jim's class was like being on top of a cruise ship: the breeze was amazing. Class was amazing. I haven't been in one of his classes for a month, and now I realize again what an amazing teacher he is. Then I went to Bryan's class and almost passed out, ran errands, and ran to my bodyworker. Again, a great session - my last. So sad! I remember being in NY, so upset about leaving my best therapist ever. But then I found really great people in Chicago: a dentist, bodyworker, and handful of yoga teachers. Oh, and good therapy, too (I've definitely seen more therapists than men). So even though it's sad to leave, I know that there are always more people out there.

Terttu got the truck on Tuesday, and helped me pack and loaded the entire truck, almost herself. Insane. I have never packed like that: not packing. It was pretty disconcerting to have all my stuff thrown into wherever and not have the contents match the box labels, but you do what you have to do. We unloaded at Tam's and then went for ice cream. I had thus far had 2 lara bars and some rice/nut chips and hummus for the entire day. The human body is pretty amazing, esp since I usually run on a LOT of fuel. After returning the truck (sorry, no photos b/c my camera is in the bottom of some box labeled "Nebraska"), Terttu and I began the long journey to her place. She was one of the best hostesses I've had once I got there - really old school, and like my mom or something. Breakfast was so sweet, and then I rushed off to the airport.

I feel like I haven't made "real" art in a while. But I started to have some ideas for Nebraska, which will involve things falling out of my studio window. Wohoo! I'm in NY until Tuesday, then back to Chicago for a day to wildly pack/ship for NE, and then fly to Omaha on Thursday. OMG! That's a WEEK from today. Amazing.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Falling out of the sky

OMG!!! I thought I was going to edit all day, but my editor had to work on a different project, so we just quickly went over my tapes and he'll work on it on his own (better for me, I think), which meant I got today to pack. But I haven't started packing, for NY or NE, b/c I came home to a most wonderful letter (like college: the fat envelopes are good): I got another residency, this time at the Vermont Studio Center, for January!!! AYEEEE!!!!! It's insane, how the timing works! I guess I won't be 1. moving to Cali sooner than 2007 and 2. getting a real job sooner than 2007.

Actually, I should be packing for the art fair tomorrow in Crystal Lake that I'm doing, esp since I plan on going to a 6:30pm yoga class tonight, and then meeting Terttu to catch the train to Iga's house in the burbs. But here I am, killing precious beautiful daytime on the computer. I'd just like to put out my other dream for my life, and then I can die feeling like I've been responsible: I want this paper museum in Korea to take my thesis on permanent loan. I mean, wouldn't it make sense? It's paper, I'm Korean-American, and the unconscious structure for it is Cheomseongdae...I just need to find the right connections. Too bad my dad's uncle isn't president of South Korea anymore.

Really, any decent home for my thesis where it's not wrapped in plastic bags would be great. Uh oh - that reminds me that I need to prepare a part of it for a show I'm in for the fall in Chicago. Yipes!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

In case you thought MI was shabby

This was my studio window at Ox-Bow. I actually didn't spend as much time in there as I would have liked, b/c I was always so scared of the mosquitoes at night (one of my last nights, I braved it, and killed about 5 or 6 in my studio, then went to letterpress and killed another two. But not before they got me). But it was still great to have, and I did a decent amount of work considering all the circumstances.

I feel like I've been going nonstop since I got off that train on Sunday. I'm SO out of it that I can't tell what day is what. I went to UPS today to ship stuff for a show, which had an August 4 deadline. I insisted to the lady that I needed everything to arrive THURSDAY, which I assumed was August 4 (why, I have no idea). She was like, "it's eight-whatever to get it there Friday." And I was like, NO! I need it to get there Thursday!!! She was like, fine, it's twenty-three-whatever. So I reluctantly did that, only to realize now, in my box-filled bedroom, that I'm losing my mind. Well, it's lost.

What I had confirmed in Michigan is that my vision is extremely blind. Meaning that I am so focused that I can't see the things right in front of me. I'd do things like open windows w/o noticing that they're the kind that open at the top, so it was already open. Or, look for tools that were right in front of me, off to the side a little. I'm so the distracted art teacher w/glasses on top of her head unable to see. I also now have massive heat rash/sun poisoning. But I made it back to yoga today; I'm easing in and just took a 1-hr class today.

In the meantime, I really, really, really want to go home for a week before I go to NE. I just miss my family and NY and am kind of embarrassed that I can't go very long w/o going back. But some major financial burdens that make me hesitate: possible need for a new iPod (unless someone has a better idea for light, large memory storage...my 350g hard drive is just so clunky to travel with), possible need for a mouthguard from the dentist for grinding, paying my editor to cut my thesis video, and shipping stuff to NE. Yeesh.