An artichoke is in the steamer and I can't wait to get to its heart. Today and last night, I was startled awake by bad dreams, and perturbed by how consistently stressful they have been for a while now. Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon untying this piece that I started in CT. I thought that the number of ties would be in the low 100s, but it was closer to 1,000. AGH. Then I tried to knit it together. No good, so I tried again. By the end of the night, I was stumped and laid in bed realizing I had to dismantle it even further - unwind all the cords and start weaving. Which was the WHOLE POINT of learning how to weave in the first place! But I had been avoiding it b/c of the intense labor involved. I'm a few inches started on what will most likely be a giant potholder. My sister reminded me last night that we all have to kill our darlings, but this one has been a long, drawn-out murder.
To avoid the frustration of being totally stuck with two solo shows scheduled w/in days of each other coming up in less than three weeks, I worked on this tiny book. It wasn't meant to be tiny, but I am really challenged when it comes to photos and resolution and knowing when things are big or small enough for print. It's a dummy, and not at all the way I envisioned it, but it is soothing to work on b/c it's not mine (the content is all Chela's) - yet no one is telling me how to do it - and b/c it's pure fun. I loved her project and I wanted to organize it, since I get off on organizing other people's stuff.
Today was my first day of wondering if I am depressed (though I think the return of grey and gloom was a major culprit). I think the isolation is getting to me. Along with waking up to a pre-6am alarm and then trying to get back to sleep once Ben leaves for work. Which is why it's VERY GOOD that I am lecturing tomorrow night in Potsdam at the arts council there, 6:30pm. I get to dine w/Velma prior, and meet new people, and yammer on about things that I really care about. Well, one thing: hanji. Yay!