AAAGH. [This is the first plate I etched.] I've been running myself ragged, and still not recovered from exhaustion. Yesterday I walked all over the UES after having a mini-breakdown. I am just so overwhelmed by myself; I never give myself a break! Never! And, so, after another late night post-class and strange dreams about Jami's new apt (which I have never seen), I go to work totally burned out. I was thinking, "Aimee, just take a half day, leave early, go home, go to bed," but then there were the usual voices, "how will you cover your commute? You have to at least earn a day's wages" and "stick it out!" or "just one more hour...just until lunch...just another hour...just..." I was so tired that I started to read the x-acto blade box, which said something like, "blades are extremely sharp."
Oh, you guessed it. Instead of going home, I plowed on through, and in the penultimate hour of work, my boss' 8-yo daughter came rushing into the studio making lots of 8-yo noises. I was holding a straightedge w/my left hand, cutting down the edge w/an x-acto knife in my right hand, turned to look at the girl, and next thing I know, I turn back just in time to see my right hand slice off a piece of my left thumb. And then it just sat there on a piece of paper, a piece of my thumb. The kid was way more emotive than me; I dripped blood and talked to Terttu for a while before we bundled it up in gauze and sent me home. The construction workers (who are working on the water main) decided to turn off the water right then, so I couldn't even clean the wound. Of course, the commute was unusually hellish. Luckily, my mom is an RN, so after telling me to stop screaming while I rinsed the cut (that is the WORST part of a deep cut: hot, hot, hot!!), she bio-occlusive bandaged it.
I was so ready to stop pushing myself for a while today! I wish I had stopped myself after the first cut and three slips on the rooftop (yes, I had a minor cut that I didn't even notice for a while, and almost fell 3x on the roof). Tomorrow is a new year. I am very accident prone and vulnerable, and I exert superhuman efforts to *not* be what I am. I'd like to learn how to give that a rest.