I have a tickle in my throat again. This is completely ridiculous, and unacceptable in my world view. It makes me so angry. Take antibiotics, and constantly come down w/colds and yeast infections. I despise it. Besides the fact that I still feel sensation in that tooth. Can you tell I didn't get much sleep last night? My mistake: green tea at dinner. But I got caught in the vicious cycle of thinking about all the things that make me feel taken advantage of, but in situations where I had some agency and either didn't exercise it or didn't stand up properly for myself. 1. Ongoing saga w/Columbia about paying my medical bills for getting hurt on their clock & property; 2. Dissatisfaction w/video editor in NYC - still no DV tape; and 3. Root canal. I even knew what I was doing to myself, but the mind fuck is so hard to escape. I'm still petty enough to imagine scenarios of horrible destruction befalling those who have crossed me.
On the positive side, I had a crit today w/David Humphrey and b/c of a schedule glitch, I got an hour w/him rather than just 30 min. It was great. He was trying to understand my world, which was so nice, b/c I'd expect that artists who have "made it" in the art world don't need to try and get ones who haven't. I imagine he's a great teacher. He said lots of things, but what I liked best was "fearless" and "voracious." I did a pocket performance today at lunch by playing violin at the "silent table" where you can eat and not have to socialize. Also, before I spiraled into anxiety last night in bed, I came up w/a performance idea. This black string is part of the idea. I'll go tomorrow to see if I can get a bunch of string. Not sure what color yet, but I do know the thickness. David suggested going much bigger w/my IN & OUT piece, so I also hung up all of my paper that would work for that piece on my wall. I wish I had more paper.