Monday, December 18, 2006

Now it's hurting

Julie emailed me a recipe for a cayenne cocktail: tomato juice, lemon, olive oil, cayenne and raw garlic. I would SO love that right now. Not that I don't love the Throat Coat that Gili delivered to me, along w/Emergen-C and vitamins. This tea is saving my life right now, b/c I feel horrible. Today was drainage day, which was only okay b/c I worked in back and Nancy has already been really sick, so no one else had to deal w/it (except for Gili). I don't know how I made it through work today. Josh was doing carpentry work (noisy), and we had to clean early in the day for a big client. I think that I'm about done w/pretending like I don't know what the hell I'm doing; I think I can just do the work now w/o hesitation and less instruction, which is nice. Gili was amaza-friend as she dashed into the bindery w/FIVE teas and cookies for all. Gavin told her that she could come back anytime as long as she brought tea and cookies. We ate in the back room and after I inhaled my lunch, I went back to lining boxes as Gili entertained. It was nice to have all the women together. She's so amazing at talking w/anyone and is super good at being inclusive. I am not good at those things.

I ran an errand at Talas today, which was fun (except the illness sweats and having to pee b/c all I was doing was drinking fluids). Gavin gave me a big teflon folder as a 'happy holidays' gift, which was totally sweet and totally unnecessary (I already have two teflon folders. Though smaller). I needed one to work with today, and he just gave it to me. His place is like an endless cornucopia of binding supplies; I've never seen anything like it before. I'm so used to people being super frugal and guarded about their things, but he's waaay generous. I really like that I can contribute to the culture of the shop, too, b/c I bring CDs so we can have music. We rocked Lauryn Hill today. That Miseducation album totally saved my life back in '98.

Got my slides back from Stefan; so far, so good (the image above is of my two paper sample books of all the paper I made in Nebraska). Then again, my nose was running so I didn't really look very closely through the loupe; I just glanced and ran to Cindy's workplace, where I lay on a red sofa for a long time during a meeting (all in the same room; I'm so sick and tired I've lost 'don't lay down in front of company' manners) and then had her get me a croissant from a bakery on Sullivan St. I might have an editor...I hope. Tomorrow is round I lost count of my root canal. I want to pass out from exhaustion and have forgotten anything else I wanted to say (except that I got a letter from a friend: her dad just had a massive stroke! But he's okay. Such a huge scare, though, and it will change a lot of things). I just hope I get better soon.

OH, this is what I was thinking as I was nearly limping in the streets: I have not been to a doctor for over three years now. I hate that getting health insurance in this country is so difficult and expensive. My ankle has been busted for over a year an a half from a breakdancing injury, and my blown-out shoulder is still cranky. Among other things. I know Gili tells me to stop already, but I just feel the aging process very heavily right now. Not to say I'm OLD old, but just that when you get to the point where you're deteriorating and not invincible anymore, it's a hard change to understand and accept. That said, I'm getting ready for bed.

1 comment:

  1. Totally. Our bodies used to be so resilient and now they seem fragile!

    What a drag. Somehow I think that once you reach 50 or 60, things will get better again. And there's always technology.

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