Saturday, October 07, 2006

Moon antics

I stayed up late, knitting, desperate to finish this book. I wanted it to be as tall as me (at first I wanted it taller: as tall as I wish I was. It's a little taller than me). Blond shifu for the "covers" (each end) - kozo that was bleached before we made sheets. I'm going to see if the typewriter in the farmhouse works. I am kind of shocked that I've knitted TWO books but still am clueless as to content. I don't usually work like that. OR, maybe I've worked like that all along and I didn't realize. But more likely, I just have changed and am now noticing; the whole materials vs. concept debate. I used to be a big conceptual snob. Now I love touching things and making things that are pleasing to handle, and then figure out content from there. It's not that cut and dry, but I have changed a lot.

Ice water is running into my armpit but my shoulder doesn't hurt as much as my right hand. My right right finger is killing me. And the big muscle going to my thumb is really sore. My body feels like some kind of strange disaster zone. Joseph said that I'm the most easily-injured woman that he's met. I don't remember being this way when I was little (I was a very cautious child. Hell, I'm an overly cautious adult, except when I'm stupid and reckless. Which would be often, and most often in the studio). I talked to mom today but didn't tell her I cut my finger open since she was talking about how much she used to worry about my health as an infant b/c I was sick a lot, and how relieved she is that I'm relatively strong, despite my awful allergies. She then threw in a story about someone who has a very sick daughter, and how awful that is. It's true; I am relatively healthy, and very thankful for that. I just always want to be stronger. I like to think I haven't reached my strength limit yet.

Today is our last warm day, almost 90. Tomorrow we lose 20 degrees. I read a different meditation text, decided to forgo yoga, had a granola breakfast, and finished up some mail art. I used my newly-fixed private exit (props to Shawn and Chela, yet again!) and ran outside into the sun and wind in a short orange polyester dress from Tamara, ankle socks, and orange sneakers. It's the first time I've exposed my legs outside since I've gotten here. I ran down the road, rubbed off the last of my tattoo, and suddenly took off my dress. I ran and skipped down to the intersection and back in my underwear. It was glorious. The roads out here are like my bedroom; I feel like I have the most privacy here when I'm outside, on the road. After coming back to the farm (dressed), I watched monarch butterflies and talked w/Shawn and Chela while we got bitten by mosquitoes. I was delirious w/my own smell b/c I hadn't showered for three days. I'm showered now; tonight we'll do something special for the full moon.

1 comment:

  1. you look GOOOD. pretty in purple adn tall next to your work on a yellow chair. famous like.


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