WOW. I just finished ironing all the maps I waxed this evening. When people ask, "what's sexy to you?" I am usually at a complete loss (I kind of feel like the word "sexy" is completely meaningless at this point in time). But waxing and ironing handmade paper with beeswax is that. Or maybe just erotic. Whatever it is, it smells SO GOOD. It makes me love people, and being an artist.
I'm one day away from showtime and still have tons of gaps in the performance. I can't sleep. I was really upset about how I buried my chest, and that will take a while to get over. Still need to rake the soil in that spot, and drag over an old metal sign frame (a rectangle inside a circle) to put over it. I got up on the 2nd level of the barn again today in daylight and tried to clear the planks that aren't screwed down. I kept thinking, "I don't feel safe here. This is not a safe place. How do I make it so that I feel safe here?" I finished hanging the rope, and almost had a very bad accident w/the ladder (luckily, I got out from under it before it slammed down onto the wheelbarrow). It was really misty today so I didn't want to do any stringing. So I have a lot of barn work to do tomorrow, but hopefully it will be a nicer, dry, warmer day.
The forecast is warm and sunny for the weekend! That means I can scrap my wiring the barn idea and just use my violin. Thank god. I've been wiring and hanging walnuts today, and that feels good. I still have to figure out how/if my other paper will operate in the space. And I'm still knitting a second glove. Shawn and I went to Grand Island today to run five thousand errands and I felt totally ill afterwards - that gross rainy day feeling of shopping in the suburbs (that kind of tired, cranky, carsick feeling in Westchester - exactly like that). It carved out a huge chunk of day and I ended up trying to recover by napping and showering. I got a beautiful, moving letter from Nathalie (like, a REAL letter w/page numbers and all. And I thought they were extinct). I've been drinking black tea and home brew from artists at Ox-Bow to try to stay awake. I'm excited about my new yellow leather women's work gloves: no more splinters!