Friday, October 06, 2006

Everything's better in cast iron skillets

Wow - sorry about my crap-ass photos. I was going to photograph my dinner but then Shawn and I ate it too quickly. It was super windy today so I got to go outside and harvest potatoes, sage, mint, broccoli (which is suddenly coming up beautifully), and beans. The wind blows all the bugs away. I forgot that when you eat good food straight from its source, you feel much better than when you eat food generations removed. I've shirked lots of "duties" today, and felt again like I wasted a day, but remembered constantly that this is the construct of my own crazy mind.

[This scarf-looking thing is going to be another book.] While I was composing my next mass email today, encouraging more people to send me SASEs for mail art, Chela ran up the stairs w/a bunch of mail for me: two postcards w/LOTS of staples in them, and TEN SASEs w/extra stamps from Kathleen. WHOA!!! Ask, and ye shall receive. Damn. So that will be a fun project. I freaked out momentarily, esp since I don't have any handmade paper from here yet, but I think I'm up to the task. I also reminded myself that part of the reason I feel crazy is that I've set up SO many different projects for myself, in a clever attempt to divert my energy away from my performance (which is the thing I really care about, but am neglecting fiercely).

Anyhow, I've started transcribing again. I know I'm not supposed to b/c of my arm, but I just can't lay off of the text anymore: I really need it to stay sane. Doing that every morning grounds me and feeds me wisdom in little bits at the exact time I need to take it in. Today, I finished Patience chapter:
Of course, one may find it possible to be open and mindful of the present moment when one is alone or when the right situation presents itself--say, on a sunny day or a pleasant evening, or in good company, or reading a suitable book or something of that nature, where the situation is right or closer to what one wants to do--then it is easier. But often it does not happen like that. Perhaps one is in the wrong company, or perhaps one is terribly depressed or very disturbed in some way, but one has to see the sameness of the two aspects. Of course, this is very easy to talk about and rather difficult to do. The thing is that even when the situation appears to be favorable, such as right here in the country where everything is quiet and there is no noise, still one is somehow never able to escape from emotional disturbances and depression and the great collection of things in one's mind. Partly these are interdependent with other people, and partly it is because one is not able to be open and develop enough strength of patience. Therefore the whole things tends to split off as a separate entity rather than being a part of the whole pattern of a mandala.
Chogyam Trungpa goes on to tell a story about two people walking on a rough road. One wanted to cover it in leather to make it soft. The other (who, of course, is wiser) says, "No, I think if we covered our feet with leather that would be the same." I would SO be the first person!! But this was great to read today, b/c these are exactly the things I was thinking about today as I resisted getting out of bed, resisted yoga, resisted meditation.

6 comments:

  1. late, late, late. tired and sleepy but i forgot to say: tonight = full moon!!! so beautiful. i went up on the roof of my loft and took it in. but only for a bit b/c of the high winds; i didn't feel like being blown off the roof.

    finished knitting the book. it's as tall as me now.

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  2. i'm running out of adjectives for how incredible it is to get art from you! the new package arrived yesterday afternoon and made the day divine. thank you thank you thank you a million times. best packages ever!!!!

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  3. my bad. TONIGHT is the full moon. last night was still beautiful. and it's like i get it twice now!

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  4. oh, and you're welcome a million times!!! i'm so glad you liked it. i had a "give away the things you like best w/o hesitation" moment. i mean, i hesitated. but was also excited to see if you'd like it.

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  5. um, heck YEAH I liked it! that was really brave of you. I don't think I could handle a moment like that.
    yup, full moon and sukkot (rosh hodesh and sukkot). all in one is pretty amazing. I never thought I'd be happy in New England, but it's hard not to get into fall here.

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  6. yay.

    it's true; everyone i know who has relocated recently to new england is SO loving fall. dreamy.

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