Tuesday, October 31, 2006

"The End" depression

Good god. It's in full swing, the post-partum depression. I feel awful. Funny; I knew yesterday was just delaying it, but I still always hope that I can avoid it. Not really possible - it's not just the post-performance blues, but the end-of-residency blues. Shawn and Chela tractored his truck and inflatable to campus and I helped push the truck at the end. They seem to be doing well.

Last night, I freaked out b/c I had put off getting a flight to Chicago for so long that now prices have doubled. After berating myself heavily for a while, I tried to compare prices for renting a car and driving. In the end, my brother-in-law crunched the numbers for me and recommended just flying, as the safest option. True. So I got a flight for November 7 - exactly a week from today. How I'll actually get to Omaha is yet another challenge. Not having a car in this country sometimes really kills me.

I made fourteen books today to try and distract myself from the depression. I gave two each to Shawn and Chela and will distribute the rest once I leave here. I also did some of the most awful housekeeping today, like loan deferment applications and financial aid applications. I have yet to call Sprint to disconnect service. I finished transcribing my book and skipped yoga b/c I barely slept; it was SO cold last night - my head was freezing. The draft was so bad that it felt like I was just out in the wind. Daylight savings doesn't help. I forgot it was Halloween. Hopefully tomorrow's big project will help w/the depression: beating milkweed. Finally.


  1. I'm going to be sad when you have to leave too! :( Seriously! I just looked at your rooftop photo set and it made me want to cry, it was so beautiful. I long to sit on a rooftop like that.... it's just so beautiful. And you look so happy! Your cute hat, your effortless smile, sitting up there with your fellow artists.

    I feel like I went on the residency with you (through the blog) and it was so amazing. I wish things like this didn't have to end. Say it ain't so!

  2. whew. i'm glad it's not just ME who will be sad. it WAS pretty amazing, right?? i'm so glad i got to share.

  3. Totally! And you're documenting at the same time, which is cool b/c you can use the blog to reminisce.

    Ultimately though, it makes me look forward to what future residencies can hold- even more adventure!


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