Friday, September 08, 2006

Today and today

I sense a long rambling coming on. I'll blame it on whatever is ailing me of late, which started yesterday: throbbing head, hot body, limp and weak. Ed pointed to the sky and said it's the storm front coming in. Well, I wish it would come and storm already, b/c I'm still feeling strange. Body's not regulating temperature properly. Very little energy. This was last night's full moon; it was cloudy last night but its rising was glorious, after Jami's reading and insanely addictive and abundant cookies.

I've been fighting w/iPhoto, and everything else on my computer lately. It's slow and crashy. This is a comic I did on scraps from the sign I made for passing cars yesterday. Today feels like at least two separate days, maybe three. I got up at about 8:30, after feeling like I had the flu all night. I skipped yoga and went for a walk instead. Then picked a little mint, saw Shawn digging for potatoes, and talked w/Jami for a bit in her studio where she reassured me that I'll be fine (I had been mulling over her comment last night on the roof about people who let past relationships rule their lives, and had another bad dream about the man I met when I was 24 who has been haunting me here. His memory usually comes and goes, but this time, it's not GOING. I hope to kick it before I leave). I then prepared a huge and satisfying breakfast: farm fresh fried eggs on veggy cheese & wasa crackers topped w/farm fresh tomatoes cooked in garlic and olive oil, with a side of farm fresh thick cucumber slices. I had all this energy to work on my latest oeuvre, which is going to be a bitch (I'm transcribing a book and just writing out one paragraph cramps my hand), but decided to read instead.

The day then transpired into roasting slowly and naked on my bed with a fierce Nebraska wind and Pessl's Special Topics in Calamity Physics, head still pounding and body feverish, but it was exactly what I needed: five glorious hours of indulgent reading. For five hours, I was able to escape my normal male self (b/c I'm a man in the publishing world's eyes: I don't read, and when I do, it's nonfiction). Flushed and super accomplished-feeling, I then took a shower and realized that all of my four shampoos are 1. different colors and 2. bottled in different colors (caps: blue, black, green, brown). [The multiple shampoo thing is an old tip I picked up from Oprah, possibly via my sister, years ago. Now I like to think of it as not getting too attached to any one, since I rotate them.]

I feel a little lost right now, still thinking of Stephen King and how he would hate the way I use too many adverbs, feeling young but empty, horrified at the task I have ahead of me (transcribing), and wincing at my jaw cramps. During my walk, I remembered again that every time I think I have things figured out, they fall apart. But that's okay, that's me, the ant rebuilding the dirt hill every time it gets kicked apart. I'll shoot for at least two paragraphs today, and hunt around for some more reading.


  1. hang in there. i sent you a little package yesterday... the reading sounds like a good pleasure to have right now!

  2. aww. you are TOO sweet. i love my friends.

    as soon as i posted that post, i got a package in the mail from gili! so, i was saved. more on that soon.


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