Monday, September 25, 2006

Smoky and educated

I feel very behind schedule. Hopefully it's just a weekend thing. I've been going to bed now for a bunch of nights in a row at 1am or later, and waking around 9:30 or 10am. Yeesh. And eating badly...not a good scene. Oh, and skipping yoga and meditation. This morning, I had to talk to myself out loud for a while to get myself out of bed. I'm hoping I'll snap out of it soon, b/c I have way too much work to do.

Today: I showered! HA. Of course, I forgot that making a fire makes me super smoky, so showering before that is a moot point, since it's immediately erased. Oh well. I'm still not very good at making fires, so I had to ask Shawn for help. Eventually we got a raging fire going, and I made about four or five trips w/the wheelbarrow from the back of the farmhouse to get the dead tree that Chela chainsawed last week to the brick pit. I knitted while I watched the fire (I'm knitting pink thread. What is my problem? This is NOT what I need to be doing right now, but I can't stop). Essentially, I'm burning lots of wood so I can get wood ash, which I will wash, and then use the wash water to cook my milkweed to balance the pH.

After spending about an hour despising myself for numerous reasons this afternoon, Shawn and I went back to Grand Island to watch "An Inconvenient Truth." Sigh. It was good. It was also good to have my decision not to have children reaffirmed. We made a couple of stops: one, to see the newspaper being printed on ginormous presses, and two, to get frosties. Then I almost cried in the van before we went to check on the cinders and start up another fire to keep warm. [p.s. - that's a pot of billy tea that Shawn made. Yum. Also very smoky.]

I think I'm going to move. I'll keep the studio, but I'm thinking I'll take Jami's room in the farmhouse and sleep there. For lots of reasons. It'll be hard to do in some ways, but also really important for me. The loft will always be here, if I want to go upstairs. But I think this will be the healthier decision and it will be good to be closer to the other two residents. *Cough* Too much smoke! But nighttime embers are sooo pretty, much more so than this picture.

1 comment:

  1. ellie4:49 PM

    the phots of you in that top are soooo amazing you could start a clothing line and be your own model!!! love it love it love it... i found a lead on another dog it is a free black lab to good home. it sounds just like nesday. oh i hope they get along. it would really be like a twin. we'll see. fingers crossed!!! love you!!!! ellie rafe's in nyc. nothing special. he lives with his girlfriend and he's in his 2nd yera of art threapy school and he got a dog named something i can't remember.

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