Thursday, August 31, 2006

Timing death

I took a Benadryl at 2:15am today to try and ease my allergies. I woke up at 5:30am, nearly suffocating b/c I could not breathe at all through my nose. I slept propped up until about 8:30am to let my sinuses drain, and then had a really good session of yoga, which focused me for a good session w/my sketchbook (I think yesterday's making of mail for Gili was a prep for this), which then put me in a great mood to go to Grand Island w/Jami. We got a ton done: coffee @ the truck stop (Jami), dress from the Salvation Army (Jami), errands at Ace for the farm, produce from the farmer's market, drooling all over the western boots place (Jami got amazing Wranglers; we both coveted the pink vest, pink cowboy boots, and pink rhinestone-studded belt. I gawked at hats and saddles, too), getting burgers at Ruby Tuesday (bison for me), and errands at Sun Mart (they had soy milk and wasa!!! But not much else).

I was so excited and energized, and got home to take a nice shower. But then I got a super sad email from my friend Eric about the sudden passing of his fiancee's mom, Linda. It threw me into a new perspective. I made a card for Jenny and will leave it for the mailman tomorrow. I've been sitting here for hours, looking at different residencies. It seems like such an unreal life, these options. I can't tell what's going to happen next, and I guess we never CAN, which is what I'm supposed to learn. It's super windy here on the farm and very sunny. Last night I had dreams of 1. being tricked into eating at a fast food place, 2. being pregnant and not even thinking about abortion until my mom brought it up as a bad option b/c of all the scarring and physical complications, 3. having surgery, and 4. being lost. The night before, I dreamed I found a $50 bill and it got passed along until it made it to Lucinda Williams, who was performing for about five people in the back room of some dive bar.

"sometimes, you never really know"

1 comment:

  1. ellie4:25 PM

    as always i agree with everyhting you say.


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