Thursday, May 11, 2006

Lasts (the noun)

Another rushed post - I have about four hours before my last class and my thesis paper still isn't quite up to snuff. This is the pose Jim taught us yesterday - lord of the dance - but I can't really do it. Need a belt. But it's amazing how suddenly all the poses that are exactly like the breaking move that gave me sciatica in the first place a year ago are now cropping up in my practice.

Breda just told me that most of the yoga poses we do today were created by 1920s British gymnasts. That would explain why the woman in class yesterday who used to be a gymnast can do everything. But I'm still determined to be able to do this pose before I hit 30. Okay, maybe 40.

This is a very strange and crazy time for me, this month, and today in particular. I'm not going to detail why (for once keeping my big mouth shut), but it's like how Anne's father-in-law has heart attacks every year around the time his son was killed. A million things are coming up for me, and I'm noticing. I know that a LOT of the craziness comes from thesis and my academic career ending. I did a long walking meditation this morning and came back drenched and curlier-curly-haired. Reading Neruda helps these days. I thought about Michael and his writing, too, as I saw the lake crashing and blue like eyes I used to want. Now I wish my eyes were darker and darker. I wondered: if I was blindfolded, and transported to this lake, would I know it was a lake? As nature-insensitive as I am, I think I would. It's strange to see water like this that isn't salty. It was wonderful to be outside in the wind and rain, hardly a person in sight, with a mallard duck, seagulls, and lots of green poop.

What I loved in the park: a man in a cap with his two black labs, running around. Louis had her baby! Premature, but they are both okay now. Her daughter's full name is all this mumbo jumbo but shortened, perfect and lovely: Kaia.

5 comments:

  1. I think spring brings a different kind of seasonal depression. At least for me. I know that I get down on myself during this season for no good reason (and some reasonable reasons). Probably why I always began planning to move in the spring. I'm in a total funk.

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  2. I hope you're beginning to realize that, while you are obviously a deeply committed and talented visual/performance artist... you are even more a brilliant writer.
    Seriously.

    PRJ

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  3. Oops. Here are the two commas I left out of that post, in my haste.

    , ,

    Would you mind placing them for me?

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  4. awww. that's really sweet and i appreciate it. i'll leave the grammar lesson in the air. commas are very important to me, but i won't press the issue today.

    and tam - SO TRUE!!! i was just talking to jenny way back when spring was on about how we gain weight in the spring, not the winter...

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  5. oh, and i wanted to add a disclaimer: patrick read my post *before* i edited it.

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