Saturday, April 01, 2006

March assessment

[This is the sign that I made for our completely unfunctional G5.] Last night was one of those occasional awful but not unbearably awful strange nights: I got that pang of stuff that kept me awake even though I was fried from working all night on the concrete floor, building more wall. Alone, stranded, soon uprooted, no clue as to what comes after May 31, and YES! It really is hard to keep making art. At least once the school support structure is taken away. [right now, A Tribe Called Quest's "Stressed Out" is on]

I managed to get some sleep with the usual awful dreams, and then called mom for her bday. We talked about how it's probably best for me to let my lease run out in May and then just move in w/Anne until I figure out the next step. Most likely, I'll be going to Ox-Bow in July to be Andrea's assistant for her papermaking class. Everything else is up to the juries all over the place deciding if I get a residency or not. I keep having fantasies of getting a comfy salaried job and just paying my student loans, and THEN starting my life. Except that would take me about fifty years.

Hm. I thought I was going to say something positive. [WHOA. Major derail - poor Ashleigh just came in w/a bleeding thumb - she almost cut the whole tip off while working on her installation for thesis. Ay...she insisted on driving herself home and to the hospital. At least the bleeding seemed to have stopped when I bandaged her up to go, but she was really upset. And who wouldn't be?]

Positive: I realized last night, on the last day of March, that I had managed to finish making over 2,000 bricks, date and then not date a guy, go to California, take a bunch of yoga classes, start meditation, build over six feet of brick wall, and apply for at least ten things. Not so bad. I shouldn't be too hard on myself about the wall going slowly. Maybe I'm just having April Anxiety.

1 comment:

  1. That's quite an accomplishment. You should be really proud of yourself! :)

    ReplyDelete

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